Bet you didn't think so, did you? Well, if the posts on this blog were my heartbeats I'd be long gone. Thankfully, they're not!
Anyway, thought I'd bring an update to all you 2 people who regularily visit me here. I am pretty certain that I've now cracked the code on my weight problem. During the last few weeks I've been trying to eat less sweets and I've now cut it out completely. I'm now back to the level I had when I was a kid, no sweets unless it's saturday. It's embarassing to say so, but I've finally realised that no amount of exercise is going to make me able to eat as much as I want of anything I want when ever I want, and it's about damn time. I've already started seeing changes in my physique and cutting out sweets hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. After all, there are so many healthy things that look so much more inviting and taste just as good, as a large chunk of chocolate. Now that it's summer, we get Norwegian fruits and berries of all kinds and what is more summer than a bowl of fruit? We're also experiencing a rare thing here on the west coast, we've had really nice, hot weather for the longest concecutive time since, well, ever! That, of course, makes chocolate move a bit down on the list of priorities.
I've also been to see the doctor about what to do to get my drivers license back. Apparently, I can't apply to have it back until it's been a year since my last attack, which is on the 16th of November. I'll have to hand in the application when I get back for Christmas holiday and then there's probably about a 6 weeks wait until I have it back. In other words, I won't be able to drive until I return for easter holiday, but you better believe that I'll be practically living in that car come easter!
Right now I'm sitting at work, waiting for the day to begin. I've had some issues lately, I've felt like a burden and a pain to the people I've called and it's made me unmotivated to doing my job. July is also a bad month in this line of work, a lot of CEO's in the country is out on holiday and the rest are hard to reach, so the turnout has been quite bad. However, a lot of companies set their new budget in August and that's also when most CEO's are back, so that will hopefully be a great month! We're also dealing with some demotivation in the hot weather and due to few people at work, so when August comes with some bad weather and the rest of the staff here at work returning, things should start to look up!
I better start doing some work now, hopefully I'll make some money today! Yesterday I came to work at 1ish, having been to the doctors and some other stuff first, and when I opened my email, there were 5000 NOK waiting for me! In other words, the perfect start to the week!
Tuesday 29 July 2014
Sunday 13 July 2014
The middle east conflict
I know I haven' written anything here for ages, so I thought I'd write a comment on the situation in the middle east.
First of, I don't think too many people know the history behind the conflict, so I'll try to explain. Here's a brief explanation of the recent history:
The Israeli were on the run from an antisemitic europe, especially the nazi holocaust. They were encouraged to seek refuge in historic Palestine, at the time a british colony. The UN offered the Israeli people the better part of historic Palestine to build a new state called Israel. For the indegionus Palestinians, the uprooting of their country to make room for a new people were a destruction of life. They rejected the UN's partition plan and several Arab states invaded the new state of Israel. Israel effectively demolished over 400 Palestine villages. In 1949 they were at the end of their fight and new armistice lines were drawn up, and Israel now owned 78% of what was once historic Palestine. Only the West Bank and the Gaza Strip remained. Of the Palestinians who were expelled form their settlements during the fighting, many sought refuge in new Jewish villages, but were denied access and had to build tent camps and similar refuge camps on their own. They because second class citisens of the new state alongside the new Jewish majority.
Today, these refugees and their relatives live mostly in the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, Jordan and Lebanon. Many of them are still living in refugee camps, seeking to return to their home land.
To sum up, one group of refugees found a much needed home, but it the process, a new group of refugees was created.
Now, here's another thing to understand: Israel was created as a jewish state, but ask yourself what that means. People have had a lot of ideas about what a Jewish state should look like. Some called for equality for all citisens, but what was created in practice, was institutional discrimination against non-Jews. In other words, Israel ended up being built on a blue print of exclution. The Israelian government wants the maximum of land and resources for Jews, but not for the Palestinians living there. That's why, inside Israel, Jews get special priveleges, including the right to own land and housing, which is denied for the Palestinian citisens who make up 20% of Israels population. That's also part of why Israel never defined it's borders. In fact, Israel still holds on to land that were concuered during the war, the West Bank and Gaza, building "temporary military settlements". However, the settlements have existed on occupied Palestinian land for over 40 years, and Israel has even equipped it with infrastructure cut off from the Palestinian settlements, there are Israeli schools and even a college, so it doesn't look that temporary..
On the West Bank, Israeli and Palestinians live on the same land but under completely different circumstances. While the israeli have all the resources they need, such as water and agriculture, the Palestinians has next to nothing. To keep the unjust situation in their favour, the Israeli army has punished resistance with raids, arrests and assassinations, all to gain maximum land while making life so difficult for Palestinians that they will either leave or be too frightened to speak up.
Palestinians have fought back. For decades they have tried to achieve national liberation through armed struggle. Some groups still do. The majority today, however, demonstrate their disapproving of Israeli occupation through popular protest instead.
The deeply harmful pattern of control, repression and violence has harmed both Palestinians living under occupations as well as Israelis living as occupants. This must be broken to assure a safe and peaceful future for both people.
Now, what about the solution to the problem? What about peace talks?
So far, over two decades of the US meddling in peace talks has actually made things worse. There has been years of talking and nothing has happened. In fact, Israel has continued its occupation of Palestine, ridding the West Bank and Gaza of Palestine people to make room for Jewish settlers. The US has also funded the Israeli army, making them better equipped to take over Palestine settlements, and of course thereby not helping what so ever, but probably making a lot of money. The israeli army is acrually the biggest recipiant of US foren aid in the world!
So, what has to be done? Real peace talks. Israel needs to listen to reason and Israel and Palestine needs to come to a joined solution where both people gets the amount of land that is fair and the fighting has got to stop. Nobody can go behind the curtain, making money of the conflict, like the US has done, because that will only make things even worse than they are now. Someone who genuinely wants to end the conflict needs to speak up, step up and help Israel and Palestine come to a solution, or the fight will go on for ever.
Aight, that's basically what I have to say about that! Hopefully, the conflict will come to an end at some point, let's just hope it doesn't end because Israel and Palestine has exterminated each other.
First of, I don't think too many people know the history behind the conflict, so I'll try to explain. Here's a brief explanation of the recent history:
The Israeli were on the run from an antisemitic europe, especially the nazi holocaust. They were encouraged to seek refuge in historic Palestine, at the time a british colony. The UN offered the Israeli people the better part of historic Palestine to build a new state called Israel. For the indegionus Palestinians, the uprooting of their country to make room for a new people were a destruction of life. They rejected the UN's partition plan and several Arab states invaded the new state of Israel. Israel effectively demolished over 400 Palestine villages. In 1949 they were at the end of their fight and new armistice lines were drawn up, and Israel now owned 78% of what was once historic Palestine. Only the West Bank and the Gaza Strip remained. Of the Palestinians who were expelled form their settlements during the fighting, many sought refuge in new Jewish villages, but were denied access and had to build tent camps and similar refuge camps on their own. They because second class citisens of the new state alongside the new Jewish majority.
Today, these refugees and their relatives live mostly in the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, Jordan and Lebanon. Many of them are still living in refugee camps, seeking to return to their home land.
To sum up, one group of refugees found a much needed home, but it the process, a new group of refugees was created.
Now, here's another thing to understand: Israel was created as a jewish state, but ask yourself what that means. People have had a lot of ideas about what a Jewish state should look like. Some called for equality for all citisens, but what was created in practice, was institutional discrimination against non-Jews. In other words, Israel ended up being built on a blue print of exclution. The Israelian government wants the maximum of land and resources for Jews, but not for the Palestinians living there. That's why, inside Israel, Jews get special priveleges, including the right to own land and housing, which is denied for the Palestinian citisens who make up 20% of Israels population. That's also part of why Israel never defined it's borders. In fact, Israel still holds on to land that were concuered during the war, the West Bank and Gaza, building "temporary military settlements". However, the settlements have existed on occupied Palestinian land for over 40 years, and Israel has even equipped it with infrastructure cut off from the Palestinian settlements, there are Israeli schools and even a college, so it doesn't look that temporary..
On the West Bank, Israeli and Palestinians live on the same land but under completely different circumstances. While the israeli have all the resources they need, such as water and agriculture, the Palestinians has next to nothing. To keep the unjust situation in their favour, the Israeli army has punished resistance with raids, arrests and assassinations, all to gain maximum land while making life so difficult for Palestinians that they will either leave or be too frightened to speak up.
Palestinians have fought back. For decades they have tried to achieve national liberation through armed struggle. Some groups still do. The majority today, however, demonstrate their disapproving of Israeli occupation through popular protest instead.
The deeply harmful pattern of control, repression and violence has harmed both Palestinians living under occupations as well as Israelis living as occupants. This must be broken to assure a safe and peaceful future for both people.
Now, what about the solution to the problem? What about peace talks?
So far, over two decades of the US meddling in peace talks has actually made things worse. There has been years of talking and nothing has happened. In fact, Israel has continued its occupation of Palestine, ridding the West Bank and Gaza of Palestine people to make room for Jewish settlers. The US has also funded the Israeli army, making them better equipped to take over Palestine settlements, and of course thereby not helping what so ever, but probably making a lot of money. The israeli army is acrually the biggest recipiant of US foren aid in the world!
So, what has to be done? Real peace talks. Israel needs to listen to reason and Israel and Palestine needs to come to a joined solution where both people gets the amount of land that is fair and the fighting has got to stop. Nobody can go behind the curtain, making money of the conflict, like the US has done, because that will only make things even worse than they are now. Someone who genuinely wants to end the conflict needs to speak up, step up and help Israel and Palestine come to a solution, or the fight will go on for ever.
Aight, that's basically what I have to say about that! Hopefully, the conflict will come to an end at some point, let's just hope it doesn't end because Israel and Palestine has exterminated each other.
Tuesday 10 June 2014
I got a job!
Yeah, I know I haven't posted anything in ages, sorry about that..
Anyway! I got myself a job! It's basically telemarketing. I'm employedby a company who's emploey by the Norwegian Naval Rescue Company. They are run completely on donations from the business community and I'll be calling different companies all over the country to ask them to make donations. We also put out press releases about the donation when the transaction is complete and everything, but I don't know if I'll be set to writing it. I kind of hope I won't, because after a year of speaking and writing English, my Norwegian sucks..
I start training tomorrow and, to be honest, I am quite nervous. I've been having some issues remembering norwegian words, my brain seems to be set in English mode still, which could cause some awkward situations the first few weeks, but I hope that'll work itself out at some point.
Today has been spent clearing out the basement. My cousins daughter will be moving in with us in august, so we've been clearing out the room that will be hers when she moves in. I've also started clearing out my room, because the water damage we had last summer seems to be in my room as well, so I actually stepped right through the hard wood floors in my room when I came home for summer.. Welcome home, Hannah! Yeah, that was great... I've been exiled to the basement livingroom and will be staying here until my rooms been fixen, which could take a while since it's an insurance case, but hopefully I'll get to move back in a while.
Right now I'm sitting in my bed, alternately playing piano and Hay Day, which I know is slightly pathetic for a soon-to-be-20 year old, but I don't care. I'm also reading up on facts about Norway, such as the lenght of our coastal line and so on, I figure stuff like that will make me sound like I know what I'm talking about to the people I'm going to be trying to convince to donate to the rescue company.
Hopefully I'll be able to sleep soon, just 6 hours until I have to get up!
Anyway! I got myself a job! It's basically telemarketing. I'm employedby a company who's emploey by the Norwegian Naval Rescue Company. They are run completely on donations from the business community and I'll be calling different companies all over the country to ask them to make donations. We also put out press releases about the donation when the transaction is complete and everything, but I don't know if I'll be set to writing it. I kind of hope I won't, because after a year of speaking and writing English, my Norwegian sucks..
I start training tomorrow and, to be honest, I am quite nervous. I've been having some issues remembering norwegian words, my brain seems to be set in English mode still, which could cause some awkward situations the first few weeks, but I hope that'll work itself out at some point.
Today has been spent clearing out the basement. My cousins daughter will be moving in with us in august, so we've been clearing out the room that will be hers when she moves in. I've also started clearing out my room, because the water damage we had last summer seems to be in my room as well, so I actually stepped right through the hard wood floors in my room when I came home for summer.. Welcome home, Hannah! Yeah, that was great... I've been exiled to the basement livingroom and will be staying here until my rooms been fixen, which could take a while since it's an insurance case, but hopefully I'll get to move back in a while.
Right now I'm sitting in my bed, alternately playing piano and Hay Day, which I know is slightly pathetic for a soon-to-be-20 year old, but I don't care. I'm also reading up on facts about Norway, such as the lenght of our coastal line and so on, I figure stuff like that will make me sound like I know what I'm talking about to the people I'm going to be trying to convince to donate to the rescue company.
Hopefully I'll be able to sleep soon, just 6 hours until I have to get up!
Monday 26 May 2014
It's been a weird day.
This morning I found out that one of the guys I went to school with a few years ago, past away in a gruesome car accident last night. He was 19 years old, just a couple of months younger than me! It's strange, how fast things can change, how fleeting life is. I know that sounds like a total clichè, but it's so true!
Håvard was one of the "cool guys" in my class, in my opinion at the time. Now, of course, I know that they were weird and a bit stupid, the lot of them, but at the time, I was dead scared of what any one of them thought of me. However, when I met him after graduating secondary school, he was a changed man. Or maybe I was a changed girl, I don't actually know. Anyway, he was sweet and caring and nice and I feel so bad for not getting to know him better when I had the chance.
One of the last times I saw him, was on new years eve, about five months ago. He, a friend who also went to our class, and Håvard's girlfriend were out drinking and he called me, asking if I could drive them home, because I put on my facebook that I was driving that night. I picked them up and on our way to his girlfriends house, we talked a lot. We talked about what we were doing for our educations, about the good old days, about everything, really. When he got out of the car, he gave me 15 pounds (not worth as much in Norway as in England) and said "if this isn't enough, message me, and I'll transfer some more tomorrow." I never did ask for more, but I thought it was really sweet of him to offer.
I guess what I'm trying to get across is that, even though I didn't have too much to do with him since we left secondary school, it still hurts that he's gone. I suppose you don't really have to spend much time with someone to care about them. Even though I haven't talked to him in five months and probably even longer before that, I feel so bad for him because he will never experience being a husband or a father, he will never know what it's like to grow old, to have grandchildren and to do all those things throughout your life that everyone wants to do at some point. I feel bad for his parents and siblings who has to deal with the pain and sorrow of loosing someone who's so close to them.
I wish you hadn't left us, Håvard, and I say "us" because even though you and I didn't talk much in the end, I still cared and it still hurts that you're gone. You touched on a lot of lives and everyone who knew you, cared for you, and that will be obvious at your funeral. The church will be completely full, because you were truly a wonderful guy and we will all miss you so much.
Rest in peace, heaven has gained an angel.
Håvard was one of the "cool guys" in my class, in my opinion at the time. Now, of course, I know that they were weird and a bit stupid, the lot of them, but at the time, I was dead scared of what any one of them thought of me. However, when I met him after graduating secondary school, he was a changed man. Or maybe I was a changed girl, I don't actually know. Anyway, he was sweet and caring and nice and I feel so bad for not getting to know him better when I had the chance.
One of the last times I saw him, was on new years eve, about five months ago. He, a friend who also went to our class, and Håvard's girlfriend were out drinking and he called me, asking if I could drive them home, because I put on my facebook that I was driving that night. I picked them up and on our way to his girlfriends house, we talked a lot. We talked about what we were doing for our educations, about the good old days, about everything, really. When he got out of the car, he gave me 15 pounds (not worth as much in Norway as in England) and said "if this isn't enough, message me, and I'll transfer some more tomorrow." I never did ask for more, but I thought it was really sweet of him to offer.
I guess what I'm trying to get across is that, even though I didn't have too much to do with him since we left secondary school, it still hurts that he's gone. I suppose you don't really have to spend much time with someone to care about them. Even though I haven't talked to him in five months and probably even longer before that, I feel so bad for him because he will never experience being a husband or a father, he will never know what it's like to grow old, to have grandchildren and to do all those things throughout your life that everyone wants to do at some point. I feel bad for his parents and siblings who has to deal with the pain and sorrow of loosing someone who's so close to them.
I wish you hadn't left us, Håvard, and I say "us" because even though you and I didn't talk much in the end, I still cared and it still hurts that you're gone. You touched on a lot of lives and everyone who knew you, cared for you, and that will be obvious at your funeral. The church will be completely full, because you were truly a wonderful guy and we will all miss you so much.
Rest in peace, heaven has gained an angel.
Monday 19 May 2014
Exam day!
Hola chicas y chicos!
It's exam day! I've never ever been this excited for an exam, it's going to be brilliant because I actually know this stuff! We've had the questions for a week now and I can already tell that I'm going to kill this exam.
The first question is "Different communities and identity groups share a varied relationship to the criminal justice system. Discuss this assertion in relation to either gender or race, outlining and evaluating the central issues in relation to crime and criminal justice."
In this question, I plan to focus on gender and write about women in the Criminal Justice system. Women are largely underrepresentated in comparison to men. Less than 1 in 5 people arrested are female and only 5% of prison inmantes are women! Another thing I'm planning to concentrate on is the fact that there is a notion of "double deviance" with women offenders. Women are seen as the care takers of society, who should preferrably be in caring professions like teachers, nurses, midwifes and so on (for my thoughts on this subject, see the last entry, called "I'm a feminist because") and for this reason, when women offend, the general reaction is that we abuse our caring position in society to con and trick people. One of the examples I'm going to refer to is the mothers of Ian Watkins victims. Ian Watkins was the vocalist in the Welsh etal/alternative rock band Lotprophets. He was arrested last year on suspicion of sexual abuse of multiple children. How did Watkins get to these children? In any cases, their mothers offered them to him to have his way with in exchange for sexual favors. In other words, in order to get some attention from this famous rock star, they gave up their children to be sexually mutilated. Horrific? Yes.
The second exam question is "The process of ‘otherisation’ is central to ‘hate crime’; using empirical examples discuss your understanding of these concepts?"
In this question I am going to start off by explaining what 'otherisation' and 'hate crime' is. My definition will be something to this effect: Otherisation is putting others below yourself, seeing a group of fellow human beings as less worthy than yourself because of some common trait they share, such as ethnic origin, skil colour, sexual orientation and the like. Otherisation is the notion of the 'others', it's fear of the unknown. Otherisation drives a wedge between communities that does not allow the members of each group to communicate and leaves the people of the strongest or biggest group to hate the smaller one, the minority in the situation. This can cause hate crimes that has in many cases, caused the death of a minority member. Hate crime is going so far in the otherisation process that you not only express your feeling of loathing and hatred verbally to members of the group, but your feelings drive you to inflict harm upon members of this group that you see as less worthy than yourself without any provocation apart from the fact that they are a member of the group you despise.
The empirical example I'm going to use is the case of Stephen Lawrence, the 19 year old black man who were killed in a vicious attack while waiting for the bus on the evening of 22nd april 1993. Five men were arrested at the time, but they were all released. It wasn't until 2012 that two people were convicted of the murder. The report made by Sir William Macpherson following the murder of Lawrence investigated the Metropolitan Police Service and concluded that the police force was institutionally racist, and therefore not making too big an effort to solve the case of Lawrence's death.
I think I've covered the questions quite good, it is a hand written exam and we only have two hours, so I'll have to cram it all into the space and time we're given, but I think I'll get a pretty good mark on this one. I'm really glad we get the questions ahead of the exam. It means, of course, that the marking will be more strict and that getting a really good mark will be more difficult, but it makes me a hell of a lot less nervous because I know what's ahead. Seeing as the modules I've had exams for are the ones I understand the most, I've really been lucky this year.
So, wish me luck!
It's exam day! I've never ever been this excited for an exam, it's going to be brilliant because I actually know this stuff! We've had the questions for a week now and I can already tell that I'm going to kill this exam.
The first question is "Different communities and identity groups share a varied relationship to the criminal justice system. Discuss this assertion in relation to either gender or race, outlining and evaluating the central issues in relation to crime and criminal justice."
In this question, I plan to focus on gender and write about women in the Criminal Justice system. Women are largely underrepresentated in comparison to men. Less than 1 in 5 people arrested are female and only 5% of prison inmantes are women! Another thing I'm planning to concentrate on is the fact that there is a notion of "double deviance" with women offenders. Women are seen as the care takers of society, who should preferrably be in caring professions like teachers, nurses, midwifes and so on (for my thoughts on this subject, see the last entry, called "I'm a feminist because") and for this reason, when women offend, the general reaction is that we abuse our caring position in society to con and trick people. One of the examples I'm going to refer to is the mothers of Ian Watkins victims. Ian Watkins was the vocalist in the Welsh etal/alternative rock band Lotprophets. He was arrested last year on suspicion of sexual abuse of multiple children. How did Watkins get to these children? In any cases, their mothers offered them to him to have his way with in exchange for sexual favors. In other words, in order to get some attention from this famous rock star, they gave up their children to be sexually mutilated. Horrific? Yes.
The second exam question is "The process of ‘otherisation’ is central to ‘hate crime’; using empirical examples discuss your understanding of these concepts?"
In this question I am going to start off by explaining what 'otherisation' and 'hate crime' is. My definition will be something to this effect: Otherisation is putting others below yourself, seeing a group of fellow human beings as less worthy than yourself because of some common trait they share, such as ethnic origin, skil colour, sexual orientation and the like. Otherisation is the notion of the 'others', it's fear of the unknown. Otherisation drives a wedge between communities that does not allow the members of each group to communicate and leaves the people of the strongest or biggest group to hate the smaller one, the minority in the situation. This can cause hate crimes that has in many cases, caused the death of a minority member. Hate crime is going so far in the otherisation process that you not only express your feeling of loathing and hatred verbally to members of the group, but your feelings drive you to inflict harm upon members of this group that you see as less worthy than yourself without any provocation apart from the fact that they are a member of the group you despise.
The empirical example I'm going to use is the case of Stephen Lawrence, the 19 year old black man who were killed in a vicious attack while waiting for the bus on the evening of 22nd april 1993. Five men were arrested at the time, but they were all released. It wasn't until 2012 that two people were convicted of the murder. The report made by Sir William Macpherson following the murder of Lawrence investigated the Metropolitan Police Service and concluded that the police force was institutionally racist, and therefore not making too big an effort to solve the case of Lawrence's death.
I think I've covered the questions quite good, it is a hand written exam and we only have two hours, so I'll have to cram it all into the space and time we're given, but I think I'll get a pretty good mark on this one. I'm really glad we get the questions ahead of the exam. It means, of course, that the marking will be more strict and that getting a really good mark will be more difficult, but it makes me a hell of a lot less nervous because I know what's ahead. Seeing as the modules I've had exams for are the ones I understand the most, I've really been lucky this year.
So, wish me luck!
Sunday 11 May 2014
I'm a feminist because...
I never gave feminism much thought until I came to university. Before I moved away from my tiny little Norwegian village of 650 people, I didn't realise how bad it actually is. This is some of the reasons why I'm a feminist. The statistics are found on the internet, of course, and I did get inspiration for this list on the internet as well, but I stand by the things on this list and these are my opinions still.
So here they are, 35 reasons to be a feminist!
- I'm a feminist because girls are taught in public schools that when she has sex for the first time, she'll "loose a part of her self."
- I'm a feminist because girls are told that the first time they have sex will be very painful and there could be blood involved. (Utter bullshit, by the way)
- I'm a feminist because women who has a lot of sex are sluts, while guys are studs.
- I'm a feminist because when a woman turns 60 years old, she will have earned $450.000 less than a 60 year old man in the exact same position.
- I'm a feminist because of cat calling and street harassment, and no, it's not a bloody compliment!
- I'm a feminist because boobs are used to sell everything from burgers to soap, but don't you dare breast feed in public!
- I'm a feminist because of how much pressure we put on girls to value their appearance above everything else.
- I'm a feminist because 1 in 4 young women are sexually assaulted and society still asks "what was she wearing?"
- I'm a feminist because male victims of rape are rarely believed when reporting the crime because "guys want to have sex all the time anyway, right?"
- I'm a feminist because in Saudi Arabia, women still can't vote or drive.
- I'm a feminist because half the girls in Yemen will become child brides.
- I'm a feminist because 65% of Brasilians believe that if a woman is wearing revealing clothes, she deserves to get raped.
- I'm a feminist because a woman is raped every 14 seconds in South Africa.
- I'm a feminist because every day, in every corner of the world, womens bodies are used as battle grounds in wars started by men.
- I'm a feminist because of Amanda Todd, Alicia Garcia, Cherize Morales and the sexism that drew them to end their own lives.
- I'm a feminist because in the US in 2013, the political body making desicions over everyone elses bodies were over 80% male.
- I'm a feminist because women don't get to decide over their own bodies. In the US, 77% of anti-abortion leaders are men. 100% of those will never be pregnant.
- I'm a feminist because men occupy the top runs of not just politics, but every industry in the world!
- I'm a feminist because women only hold 1 in 4 stem jobs. We own 6% of TV stations and 5% of executive positions in the media are held by a woman.
- I'm a feminist because people still say that asexuals, bisexuals and transgender people don't exist.
- I'm a feminist because in 34 states in the US, it's LEGAL to discriminate against someone who's transgender.
- I'm a feminist because the idea of same sex marriage shouldn't be so hard to graps as it obviously are to a lot of people.
- I'm a feminist because women are constantly sexualised and objectified while men get credit for their skills and professions.
- I'm a feminist because there are parts of this world where women are the ones who gets punished after being sexually assaulted.
- I'm a feminist because there are people who actually think it's not rape if the other person is sleeping.
- I'm a feminist because we live in a society that teaches women to be careful so they don't get raped instead of teaching men not to rape.
- I'm a feminist because the notion that men rape because they are pigs that can't control their urges is utterly disgusting.
- I'm a feminist because approximately 3 million girls are victims of female genital mutilation each year.
- I'm a feminist because there are approximately 2 million victims of sex trafficking each year. 85% of these are women.
- I'm a feminist because in 31 states in the US, if a woman gets pregnant as a result of rape and decides to keep the child, her rapist can sue for custody and visitation rights.
- I'm a feminist because women who report sexual harassment in the work place are seen as prudes and career experts advise women not to report it.
- I'm a feminist because when I walk home from the library alone at night, I hold my keys so that they stick out between my fingers because I'm scared of being assaulted.
- I'm a feminist because I want women like me being represented in movies and films - and not have them regulated as the fat, stupid friend that all the thin girls hang out with because they feel sorry for her.
- I'm a feminist because most films fail the Bechdel test, where the only requirements are for two named female characters to talk to each other about something besides sex and
relationships, if only once.
- I'm a feminist because when Austria won Eurovision this year, there were so unbelieveably many comments on facebook and tweets on twitter about how it's disgusting that Eurovision even let a drag performance on stage. I think the performance and the fact that it won is a massively positive message to send to the thousands and thousands of transgender people who suffer from discrimination and bullying on a regular basis.
- I'm a feminist because I believe in gender equality and I know we're not there yet.
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment and tell me why!
Monday 5 May 2014
Don't worry, I'm alive!
I know I haven't posted anything on here for aaaages, but I've got writers block or something to that effect.
The truth is that my dad was home from tuesday until thursday this week and during those days I spent as much time with him as I could, so blogging wasn't really a priority. Since he left I just haven't been bothered. But I'm back!
There's this crazy bathe-in-the-freezing-fucking-sea thing going around on facebook and my feed, as I'm sure yours, is filled with idiots jumping into saltwater holding 5 degrees. I can't wait to get nominated, I have the perfect plan of what to do! Kristine said she was going to nominate me, and I hope she does!
I'm going to England tomorrow!!! Yay! My flight to Oslo leaves at 7am tomorrow, I have to be at the airport at 6am, so I have to leave home at 5am and get up at 4am. Oh my life! the good thing is that I get to Winchester at like 3pm, so I'll have a few hours to nap and stuff before going to the pub, haha! Do you want my packing list? Of course you do!
Big stuff:
I can't wait to go back, I really miss Winchester and my friends and everything and everyone, but I can't believe we're almost done with the year already! I mean, where the hell did the year go?? It feels like it was yesterday I was hugging my parents goodbye at the airport to leave for England in September!
Right, I have 3,5 hours to get some sleep before I have to get up again, so I think I'll have to finish now. Sleep tight!
The truth is that my dad was home from tuesday until thursday this week and during those days I spent as much time with him as I could, so blogging wasn't really a priority. Since he left I just haven't been bothered. But I'm back!
There's this crazy bathe-in-the-freezing-fucking-sea thing going around on facebook and my feed, as I'm sure yours, is filled with idiots jumping into saltwater holding 5 degrees. I can't wait to get nominated, I have the perfect plan of what to do! Kristine said she was going to nominate me, and I hope she does!
I'm going to England tomorrow!!! Yay! My flight to Oslo leaves at 7am tomorrow, I have to be at the airport at 6am, so I have to leave home at 5am and get up at 4am. Oh my life! the good thing is that I get to Winchester at like 3pm, so I'll have a few hours to nap and stuff before going to the pub, haha! Do you want my packing list? Of course you do!
Big stuff:
- Suitcase: Check! Can't really forget that, can you?
- Suitcase No. 2: Check! I'm packing my stuff in a small suitcase now and puting that one in my big suitcase so that I can have two suitcases on my flight back. Suitception? Yup!
- Bag: Check! Hand luggage for my flight back home.
- Clothes: Check! Not going to bother listing my clothes, let's be honest, you're not that interested, are you?
- Make up: Semi check. Packing tomorrow morning, can't look like a pig on the plane, can I?
- Toothbrush: Check! Don't worry, I have two, I'm not leaving the house with morning breath smelling like dead horse.
- Shoes: Check! Converse and ballerinas.
- Medicines: Check! Realised yesterday that I had one pill left of the heart medication, so had to get more today.
- Medical certificate: Check! To provide to the extenuating circumstances board who granted me general concessions for my school work.
- Pencil case with content: Check! For the exams, they're hand written.. *sigh*
Hand luggage:
- Passport: Check!
- Ticket reservation numbers: Check!
- House keys: Check! Almost forgot them though..
- Phone: Check!
- Wallet: Check! I don't actually know if they say wallet or purse in England, but it's there anyway.
- Tablet: Charging.
- Chargers: Phone charger packed, using the tablet and computer chargers, so packing those tomorrow morning.
- Headset: Check! x4. Got to be sure, right?
I think that's all! If it's not, I can get it in Winch if it's important, I'm not staying there that long.
I can't wait to go back, I really miss Winchester and my friends and everything and everyone, but I can't believe we're almost done with the year already! I mean, where the hell did the year go?? It feels like it was yesterday I was hugging my parents goodbye at the airport to leave for England in September!
Right, I have 3,5 hours to get some sleep before I have to get up again, so I think I'll have to finish now. Sleep tight!
Sunday 27 April 2014
Job interview!!!
One of my friends work at the gas station in the village next to mine and she managed to get me an interview with her boss today! I realy hope I get it, I can't handle just walking around at home, not doing anything. It feels so weird having been home so long without working at all. So, basically, wish me luck and cross your fingers and all that!
I'm having a fashion crisis at the moment. What do you wear to a job interview at a gas station? I don't want to come across as high maintenance but not as a slob either.. Might just wear my maxi skirt, a top and converse, but stuff like this freaks me out. Still, he probably won't look to much at my clothes, it's not like it's a clothing store.. Right, girly overthinking won't get me anywhere. Maxi skirt and top it is!
When I get home from the, I'm going to visit said friend and her son, Lucas, because I'm looking after him tomorrow while she's at a driving lesson. I can honestly say that I'm more nervous about being alone with a 1,5 year old than going to a job interview, mostly because I haven't met him since he was about 3 months old, but I think we'll be alright. I love children so, hopefully, it'll work out just fine.
Right, I've got to get dressed now. As I said, wish me luck!
Friday 25 April 2014
Sleep rape VS assault rape
In the last few days, we've had a discussion going on in the media in Norway about systematicly grading the seriousness of rape cases. As far as I've understood, without having read all the articles about it, but a fair few still, there's been a thought that there should be a grading system in place so that we can label the seriousness of any rape case. Also, again as I've understood, it's been said or hinted about how sleep rape isn't as serious as assault rape, and that's what I'm focusing on right now. These are my thoughts on the matter.
Apparently, sleep rape isn't as serious as assault rape because the victim is likely to have flirted with the perpetrator earlier in the evening. Sleep rapes are usually carried out by someone that knows the victim or that has gone to bed with the victim following a party. Does that make sleep rape okay? If you are woken up by your one night stand shoving his reproductive organ into you using nothing but force, are you supposed to accept it because you flirted with him earlier in the night? Because you slept with him before falling asleep? What if the offender is your boyfriend or husband, is it okay for them to rape you in your sleep because you love them, trust them, because you have a close relationship with them? NO.
Assault rape is what we recognise as being attacked by a stranger and dragged off into a bush. This is clearly serious cases and also the cases where the perpetrator are most likely to not even be found as a suspect because they are usually not known by the victim. Is it okay? No, and I think we all agree on that.
Now, what's more serious? Sleep rape or assault rape? My opinion is that the two can't be compared. In the case of a sleep rape, the victim can find themselves unable to trust other people afterwards because the assailant was someone they loved and trusted, impairing the victim of the ability to findsomeone they can trust and open up to in the same way again. If the perpetrator was a one night stand, trust issues towards unknown people still applies. In the case of an assault rape, the victim could find themselves frightened to leave the house at night if at all. The chance of physical injury might also be greater as the perpetrator has no relationship to the victim and could be less likely to care if they live or die.
By the way, would you say that being raped while asleep is not assault? Because I certainly would. It's forced intercourse, no matter how you look at it and it's assault either way.
What I'm trying to say is that there's no way to say which is more serious. The seriousness of the offence has to be seen from the victims eyes, The seriousness of the assault comes down to the greatness of the physical and psycological trauma to the victim, not the type of situation in which it was sustained. The seriousness of rape cases can not be labeled from the type of situation, because not everyone handles trauma in the same way. Some handle trauma well and are able to go back to their normal lives faster than others. Each rape case is unique and has to be seen as unique. There can't be any short cuts in dealing with rape cases.
To be perfectly honest, I can't wait to be done with my education so I can deal with these kinds of issues myself. I can't wait to be able to give my opinions as a professional, and believe me, there'll be some opinions out there from yours truly once I've got a degree and a badge, just wait for it!
Apparently, sleep rape isn't as serious as assault rape because the victim is likely to have flirted with the perpetrator earlier in the evening. Sleep rapes are usually carried out by someone that knows the victim or that has gone to bed with the victim following a party. Does that make sleep rape okay? If you are woken up by your one night stand shoving his reproductive organ into you using nothing but force, are you supposed to accept it because you flirted with him earlier in the night? Because you slept with him before falling asleep? What if the offender is your boyfriend or husband, is it okay for them to rape you in your sleep because you love them, trust them, because you have a close relationship with them? NO.
Assault rape is what we recognise as being attacked by a stranger and dragged off into a bush. This is clearly serious cases and also the cases where the perpetrator are most likely to not even be found as a suspect because they are usually not known by the victim. Is it okay? No, and I think we all agree on that.
Now, what's more serious? Sleep rape or assault rape? My opinion is that the two can't be compared. In the case of a sleep rape, the victim can find themselves unable to trust other people afterwards because the assailant was someone they loved and trusted, impairing the victim of the ability to findsomeone they can trust and open up to in the same way again. If the perpetrator was a one night stand, trust issues towards unknown people still applies. In the case of an assault rape, the victim could find themselves frightened to leave the house at night if at all. The chance of physical injury might also be greater as the perpetrator has no relationship to the victim and could be less likely to care if they live or die.
By the way, would you say that being raped while asleep is not assault? Because I certainly would. It's forced intercourse, no matter how you look at it and it's assault either way.
What I'm trying to say is that there's no way to say which is more serious. The seriousness of the offence has to be seen from the victims eyes, The seriousness of the assault comes down to the greatness of the physical and psycological trauma to the victim, not the type of situation in which it was sustained. The seriousness of rape cases can not be labeled from the type of situation, because not everyone handles trauma in the same way. Some handle trauma well and are able to go back to their normal lives faster than others. Each rape case is unique and has to be seen as unique. There can't be any short cuts in dealing with rape cases.
To be perfectly honest, I can't wait to be done with my education so I can deal with these kinds of issues myself. I can't wait to be able to give my opinions as a professional, and believe me, there'll be some opinions out there from yours truly once I've got a degree and a badge, just wait for it!
Thursday 24 April 2014
Do you want to build a snowman?
Have you seen Frozen? It's the cutest little film ever! I'd seen lots of spoilers on Tumblr before seing the actual film, but I was definitely not disappointed! Lately, meaning the last three days, I've been playing 'Do you want to build a snowman' and 'Let it go' on piano. I love the first one so much because it's funny and sad and cute all at the same time and there's so much to do with it when making a cover version.
Anyway, life hasn't been just piano playing and cute little songs in the past few days. Actually I never play as much piano as the times when there's stuff I feel like I need to get away from, get a break from. I've applied to all the jobs I can think of but there's nobody that needs workers at the moment. I can't get a hold of Registry at the university to find out if I will have to take a gap year and they haven't replied to my email. The thing is, after I wrote the last post, I called Lanekassen, which is the state owned organization that sorts out student finance for Norwegian students, and it turns out that it isn't the year after next I will go without funding, it's the upcoming year. In other words, I have to get the university to understand that I need those three extra modules for next year if they want me as a student at all. If they can't put me on the list for three modules from other courses, then I won't be able to go to uni in September. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a flat that I've signed a contract for.. I'll have to pay rent until we can find someone who can take over my room, which means that I'll have to pay the £5000 in July and not know how much I'll get back.. This also puts some stress on my flatmates and I have that I might have to do this to them.
On top of everything I can't say that the thought of delaying my education a whole year and living at home from the end of may this year to mid September next year is one that makes me happy. I really don't want to move back home, I want to finish my education and start working for real. Not some crappy, dead end job that'll never get me anywhere, but a real job, one that I'll need qualifications for, a job that I'll have worked hard to get. Maybe I'll even have a shot at Scotland yard! I don't want to delay that for a whole year. Then again, I am fully aware that I might have to and that if the school says that this is what the rules are like, that I can't have any more modules than what my course says I can. Still, I'm sure that anyone understands that the thought of working for over a year to make £20,000 to cover tuition and the flat and everything and then pay £10,500 to the school to not even have the normal 8 modules, to lose out on 3 whole modules kind of sucks.
Anyway! Happy thoughts, the war isn't lost yet! At the moment, and I know it sounds strange, but I smell like a garage. My brother and I have just helped my uncle change the tyres on his car. Yes, I know how to do that. I like doing stuff like that, and to be honest, I wish I had the oportunity to do more of it. A point on my bucketlist is definitely to learn how to do an oil change and I swear, I'm going to get my dad to teach me this summer.
About time to go to bed now? Think so. Have a good day (tomorrow)!
Anyway, life hasn't been just piano playing and cute little songs in the past few days. Actually I never play as much piano as the times when there's stuff I feel like I need to get away from, get a break from. I've applied to all the jobs I can think of but there's nobody that needs workers at the moment. I can't get a hold of Registry at the university to find out if I will have to take a gap year and they haven't replied to my email. The thing is, after I wrote the last post, I called Lanekassen, which is the state owned organization that sorts out student finance for Norwegian students, and it turns out that it isn't the year after next I will go without funding, it's the upcoming year. In other words, I have to get the university to understand that I need those three extra modules for next year if they want me as a student at all. If they can't put me on the list for three modules from other courses, then I won't be able to go to uni in September. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a flat that I've signed a contract for.. I'll have to pay rent until we can find someone who can take over my room, which means that I'll have to pay the £5000 in July and not know how much I'll get back.. This also puts some stress on my flatmates and I have that I might have to do this to them.
On top of everything I can't say that the thought of delaying my education a whole year and living at home from the end of may this year to mid September next year is one that makes me happy. I really don't want to move back home, I want to finish my education and start working for real. Not some crappy, dead end job that'll never get me anywhere, but a real job, one that I'll need qualifications for, a job that I'll have worked hard to get. Maybe I'll even have a shot at Scotland yard! I don't want to delay that for a whole year. Then again, I am fully aware that I might have to and that if the school says that this is what the rules are like, that I can't have any more modules than what my course says I can. Still, I'm sure that anyone understands that the thought of working for over a year to make £20,000 to cover tuition and the flat and everything and then pay £10,500 to the school to not even have the normal 8 modules, to lose out on 3 whole modules kind of sucks.
Anyway! Happy thoughts, the war isn't lost yet! At the moment, and I know it sounds strange, but I smell like a garage. My brother and I have just helped my uncle change the tyres on his car. Yes, I know how to do that. I like doing stuff like that, and to be honest, I wish I had the oportunity to do more of it. A point on my bucketlist is definitely to learn how to do an oil change and I swear, I'm going to get my dad to teach me this summer.
About time to go to bed now? Think so. Have a good day (tomorrow)!
Tuesday 22 April 2014
I'm back!
I haven't forgot you. I know it seems like I have, but I haven't. I'm back bitches, and this is what I've been doing for the past 10 days!
SPAIN!
Playa del Ingles was absolutely amazing. The temperature was just perfect, it wasn't cold, but it wasn't so hot that we were half dying on the beach, secretly wanting to go back home. We had some days of less good weather, the day we arrived it was actually raining! However, I'm sort of glad it did because it gave us the chanse to walk around townand get to know the place a little before spending the rest of the week lying spread eagled on the beach. We also had a day where we could hardly see the sun for all the clouds, so that day I decided that sun cream was unnecessary. Do I need to mention that I was so sun burned that I didn't sleep much the following night? Probably not.
Yep. Sun burned, alright! Apart from the places where my sun glasses covered the skin, of course, making me look like a reversed panda.. Anyway! See the necklace I'm wearing? IT'S A DRAGON! I got it at a jewelry store in Playa del Ingles and his name is Norbert. He's a Norwegian Ridgeback and if that makes you think that I'm the biggest Harry Potter geek you've ever met, then that sounds about right.
We didn't actually do much, we didn't go on any excursions or anything, we just relaxed and recharged batteries, but that's really all I wanted to do, just get away from everything and not really need to think about anything at all. We ate a lot of good food, got tanned and read a lot. It really was all I wanted it to be. Happy with the way the trip turned out!
Since I came back, reality has given me a shock or two. I'm having some issues getting enough modules for next year, because I've already done three of them. However, if I don't do 8 modules next year, I won't get funding from Norway to study the year after and since I don't exactly have £10,500 to pay for tuition myself, that could be a problem. Worst case scenario, I'll have to take a gap year between next year and the year after to make enough money to pay for everything, and I am definitely not prepared to do that!
I've also kind of been let off from work. I haven't been fired, I haven't quit, but they simply don't have room for me anymore. I do understand it though, sales has quadrupled since september when we changed the consept of the restaurant and since I'm not home that much, my skills are a bit rusty. They have a team of people that work well together and that makes things run smoothly and I completely understand that that makes my boss reluctant to change things, since they are already running so smoothly. In other words, I'll get called in in an emergency when nobody else can work, but I can't rely on that for money until September, so I've started looking for something else to do. The plan is to apply at the store across the street, which is a food store like Sainsbury's and M&S, my boss where I've used to work knows the guy who runs that store, so he'll give me a good reccomendation and I'll hopefully be able to work there! I'm also applying to a gas station in the next "town". They make fast food and stuff and I have a lot of experience in that area, so hopefully I'll get that as well and I can work my ass off all summer! I really do need the money because I think the money I get from Norway to cover tuition and rent and everything this autumn might be a little short, since the rent is more expensive and with bills and everything, I really need a buffer to fall back on in case it isn't enough. Grown up points? I think so.
Today, I'm taking on the role of telephone lady. I have a lot of stuff to work out and hopefully I'll get through them all today. The good thing is that since my brother is at school an my mum is at work, I have the house all to myself! Oh, and my dad comes home on the 30th! I haven't seen him since I drove him to the ship on the 2nd of January so I'm really looking forward to him coming home! I'll probably cling to him like a dog to its owner for a while, but I'm a daddy's girl, and I think he appretiates the fact that I like spending time with him when I have the chance, so that's alright.
Right, I think that's enough rambling from me in one go, don't you? Yeah, thought so.
SPAIN!
Playa del Ingles was absolutely amazing. The temperature was just perfect, it wasn't cold, but it wasn't so hot that we were half dying on the beach, secretly wanting to go back home. We had some days of less good weather, the day we arrived it was actually raining! However, I'm sort of glad it did because it gave us the chanse to walk around townand get to know the place a little before spending the rest of the week lying spread eagled on the beach. We also had a day where we could hardly see the sun for all the clouds, so that day I decided that sun cream was unnecessary. Do I need to mention that I was so sun burned that I didn't sleep much the following night? Probably not.
We didn't actually do much, we didn't go on any excursions or anything, we just relaxed and recharged batteries, but that's really all I wanted to do, just get away from everything and not really need to think about anything at all. We ate a lot of good food, got tanned and read a lot. It really was all I wanted it to be. Happy with the way the trip turned out!
Outside the hotel, the day we left.
Since I came back, reality has given me a shock or two. I'm having some issues getting enough modules for next year, because I've already done three of them. However, if I don't do 8 modules next year, I won't get funding from Norway to study the year after and since I don't exactly have £10,500 to pay for tuition myself, that could be a problem. Worst case scenario, I'll have to take a gap year between next year and the year after to make enough money to pay for everything, and I am definitely not prepared to do that!
I've also kind of been let off from work. I haven't been fired, I haven't quit, but they simply don't have room for me anymore. I do understand it though, sales has quadrupled since september when we changed the consept of the restaurant and since I'm not home that much, my skills are a bit rusty. They have a team of people that work well together and that makes things run smoothly and I completely understand that that makes my boss reluctant to change things, since they are already running so smoothly. In other words, I'll get called in in an emergency when nobody else can work, but I can't rely on that for money until September, so I've started looking for something else to do. The plan is to apply at the store across the street, which is a food store like Sainsbury's and M&S, my boss where I've used to work knows the guy who runs that store, so he'll give me a good reccomendation and I'll hopefully be able to work there! I'm also applying to a gas station in the next "town". They make fast food and stuff and I have a lot of experience in that area, so hopefully I'll get that as well and I can work my ass off all summer! I really do need the money because I think the money I get from Norway to cover tuition and rent and everything this autumn might be a little short, since the rent is more expensive and with bills and everything, I really need a buffer to fall back on in case it isn't enough. Grown up points? I think so.
Today, I'm taking on the role of telephone lady. I have a lot of stuff to work out and hopefully I'll get through them all today. The good thing is that since my brother is at school an my mum is at work, I have the house all to myself! Oh, and my dad comes home on the 30th! I haven't seen him since I drove him to the ship on the 2nd of January so I'm really looking forward to him coming home! I'll probably cling to him like a dog to its owner for a while, but I'm a daddy's girl, and I think he appretiates the fact that I like spending time with him when I have the chance, so that's alright.
Right, I think that's enough rambling from me in one go, don't you? Yeah, thought so.
Tuesday 8 April 2014
What a weekend!
Some key words/sentences for this weekend:
- Missed my flight
- Had to have mum buy new tickets
- Strip searched in Stavanger
- Oslo with Kristine
- Consert
- Over weight suitcase
- Not over weight suitcase
- Home
- Sick
It has been an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend. It all started at Friday morning at 7.30am at Winchester Train Station where Liva and I realised our train were non existant. The next train due to leave for Clapham Junction where we would be able to change to Gatwick left so late that I would be at Gatwick at 10am. My flight left at 9.20am. You see the problem? Right. So what do you do?Call mum. Nothing is broken until dad can't fix it and no situation is classified as a crisis until mum can't make new arrangements. So I called mum, crying and panicking slightly. Have I mentioned that I HATE traveling without parent supervision? I hate it. I hate it more than spiders, more than tomatoes and cucumbers, more than not being able to drive. Combined.
Anyway, I called mum. She was at work, obviously, but took the time to call the airline to change tickets. At this point, I was convinced that the concert me and Kristine were going to were that night at 8pm. Mum called me back and said there was one flight at 9pm that night and changing the tickets were roughly 1500 kroner (£150). Ignorant as I was, I told her that the concert were that night and asked if there were another flight available. There were, at 3pm, but changing the tickets were 4000 kroner (£400) and naturally way too expensive. I asked if she could be a hero and check if SAS had any flights that would be a better match. They did. At 12.05pm, 1100 kroner (£110), so she booked a ticket and said I had better get there in time. And so we went. We had new tickets to Reading from where I got a coach to Heathrow. By the way, the thought of leaving from Heathrow scared the crap out of me. It's huge, it's busy, I'd been there only once before, but I was determined to get to the concert in time. So off I went and I was at Heathrow at 10.30am. I had breakfast at, possibly, the most expensive restaurant I've ever been to in England, but the cheapest I could find at the airport and I waited for the information about what gate to leave from.
Finally, I got the gate number and I headed in that direction. Got on the plane and fell asleep before it even took off. I then landed in Stavanger, where I met a Norwegian girl who goes to Winchester University and who I know a little bit. We talked for a bit until we'd gotten our luggage, she showed me where to book it in for my next flight and we went our separate ways.
I checked in the luggage and headed for airport security. This is where it got really interesting. I had 1 hour from my flight from London landed until the flight to Oslo took off and I had forgotten that I had bought a can of Redbull at heathrow that was still in my bag. Naturally, I sent my hand luggage through security and was stopped. At this point I was tired, I was hungry, and I was more than a little bit cranky at the whole travelling thing. the conversation between myself and the airport security guy went something like this:
Him: I see you have a can of liquid in your bag?
Me: Uhm, no?
Him: Yes, you do. Shall we open the bag and have a look?
Me: Sure, go for it..
He opens the bag and finds the can of redbull
He opens the bag and finds the can of redbull
Him: What's this then?
Me: Oh, I don't know, a can of Redbull, maybe?
This was my big mistake. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, but I know I said some less than pleasant things and it all resulted in him getting a female security guard to do a strip search. I was brought into a tiny room and told to undress. I was now angry and upset and humiliated and stressed all at the same time. If this wasn't the ultimate test for my heart medication, I don't know what would be. Anyway, I undressed to my underwear and stopped there. "And then the rest," she said. I asked if this was really necessary, it wasn't as if Iwere carrying drugsor anything. She responded saying that if they were to believe everyone's story, they would never confiscate anything, which in hindsight is fair enough, but at the time it mademe even angrier. Mumbling curses and threaths, I undressed until naked. I think I'll spare you the rest of the details.
Now, just to make things clear, I know it was my own fault. I know they were only doing their job and that they did definitely not deserve for me to be that uncooperative.
Finished with what might have been in the top 10 list of embarrasing situations in my life, I got dressed, repacked my stuff and headed for the gate. I was the last one to board the plane, but I made it just in time.
I finally got to Oslo. After having gotten my suitcase I decided to have something to eat, since I didn't have the time in Stavanger. I got two pizza slices and chocolate milk and I sat down in a corner and devoured my meal in less than five minutes.
Refreshed, I got up, headed for the train station and got on the train. I got to Oslo Central Station and met Kristine, which was a huge relief. Not only was I reunited with one of my closest friends, I didn't was in safe hands where travelling was concerned. We got a bus ticket and headed for her flat. I went to bed at 8pm that night, exhausted but happy to have actually managed to reach my destination.
Saturday! Of course, at some point during Friday, Kristine saw on Facebook that Oslo Ess wasn't playing at Rockefeller that night, but saturday night in stead. I think I were at Heathrow when she messaged me and I got the tickets out to check and she was right. I am glad she was, though. If I had known in Winchester, it would have cost mum £40 more and if the concert had been friday night I would have been way to tired to enjoy it. Anyway! Kristine showed me around Oslo before we headed to Eirik's flat to get him to go have dinner, before we went back to Kristine's flat to have pre drinks and a little unplanned photoshoot. The concert was absolutely amazing and I am so glad I made it in time!
I was wearing my blue, white and black dress and we (read: Kristine) curled my hair.
I got my Oslo Ess-hoodie!!
Me, Kristine and Eirik (at the bottom right corner) before the concert!
I don't have anypictures from the concert, unfortunately, I was way too busy singing, jumping, screaming, shoving, pushing and swearing to get my phone out. There are some people who seem to only go to concerts to make the experience as unbearable for the rest of us as possible, but that didn't ruin it for us, we still had a great time andour favourite band is really as good as ever, if not better!
Sunday morning it was time to go home. Oslo Airport isn't as big an issue for me anymore, I've been there enough times to know my way around by now, but I had to get the bus from Kristines flat to the Central Station alone, because Kristine wasn't feeling all too good, hehe. However, it went fine, I got on the bus and I found my way at the station. I was even able to check in to my flight at the station, so when I got to the airport, all I had to do was to hand it in.
Another problem arose. At the airport, they have those self service check in machines, and Norwegian only lets you take 20 kilograms on board. SAS let you take 22, so that was alright, but my suitcase was 27 kilograms and I had to take the heaviest stuff out of my suit case and put it in the hand luggage or pay 90 kroner (£9) per kilogram. I then had to open the suitcase in the middle of the airport and let everyone see everything I had in there, from underwear and socks to dresses and shoes. Naturally, I did my best to speed up the process and managed to get the weight down to 21 kilograms, but the machine just would not budge. I thought "you know what? I can spare 90 kroner." and headed for the lady behind the counter. She weighed my suitcase, put a red tag on it that said "heavy" and told me to have a pleasant flight. In other words, I probably could have put another one or two kilos of clothes and shoes in there and not been fined. Which was lovely, now I was dragging along half my suitcase in my already ruined blue bag and I could not wait for this nightmare of a trip to be over. I got to security, and what happens? The bloody thing beeped on me. I turned around and tried again and luckily, it was alright, because otherwise I think I would have broken down in tears.
I found which gate to go to, found the gate and waited for boarding to start. Obviously, there were three or four of those obnoxiously annoying kids running around screaming and shouting, but at that point I was slightly apathic about the whole thing and decided not to give a crap. I got on the plane, sat down and closed my eyes. I was nearly there, just an hours flight left and I would see my mum and my brother and I could rest. Naturally, a guy came up and said "hey, you're in my seat." And naturally, since I have such a sweet disposition when I'm tired and annoyed, I replied "hey, no I'm not." Turned out I was. I really do need to work on my manners under certain circumstances..
Got in my seat, which of course was placed directly behind the obnoxiously annoying kids from before, and we finally had lift off. I fell asleep after the Fasten your seatbelt-sign had turned on again at the end of the flight and woke suddenly when the plane hit the ground, but I was there. I got my hand luggage, I got my suitcase and went to find my mum.
Yesterday, I really didn't do much. I just hung out at home, watching Norwegian TV and eating free food (never take free food for granted, kids).
Today I woke up, clogged. No, seriously, I can't breathe. I'm sick and I'm pretty sure it's due to that ridiculoussly cold bench me and Kristine were sitting at after the concert while waiting for Eirik. To be fair though, I had the best kebab of my life just half an hour later, so it's fine.
Tomorrow I'm going to the doctors, to talk about what to do about my driverslicens and all that as well as getting some information about the medication I'm on, how long I have to take it and so on. I am definitely loking forward to that and I already have a whole list of questions for the good doctor who's been my GP since the GP service was initiated. It's a shame he's retiring, really. Anyway, I'm going to sleep, hoping that my cold will be better by tomorrow!
Friday 4 April 2014
Operation suitcase: packed
My suitcase is full (and probably way too heavy), my clothes for tomorrow are ready, I've got my passport in my bag, the reference number to check in to the flight on my phone and I've printed out the Oslo Ess-tickets. My makeup is ready, the alarm is set and all electrical equipment are being charged. I have all seven Harry Potter books downloaded to the Tab2, so the fligh will, well, fly. Hehe. The alarm is going off in 3,5 hours!
I'm coming home.
Or rather, I'm coming to Kristine's home, but whatevs.
I can't wait now. Kristine and I went to see Oslo Ess in desember of 2012 and it's one of the best experiences I've had. Can't wait to see them again, this time performing from their new album, which is freaking great by the way, and at Rockefeller as well! I've never been there, but I've heard it's a good live concert venue.
I have some great news from today that I want to share! My friend Camilla who has cancer has been told that the cancer markers in her blood has dropped to normal levels! She's going to a meeting with the doctors in Trondheim, but hopefully, she'll be alright!
I also got some good news for myself today. There was this one module last semester that I failed an assignment in and that causes you to fail the module. However, because I got a first in the other assignment in that module, I passed! I aslo went to pick up the weekly wiki hate crime blog thingy that we did for intro to crim 2 and I got 65%! Well happy with todays happenings!
Now I'm going to go to sleep and dream about the stuff I'm going to buy at the tax free shop tomorrow. Extremely excited to go to Norway now! I'll have wifi where ever I go, I won't have to speak english (which I'm probably going to miss because I like speaking English) and I won't be financially dependent anymore. Being in charge of your own economy is exhausting. Kids, trust me, moving out is great, it's fun, it's everything you've ever dreamed of and more. However, it's the "more" part that's annoying. That "more" part contains all the responsibility that you get when you move out, so if you learn anything from this post or this log or from me or whatevs, I'm hoping it'll be this: DO NOT TAKE LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS FOR GRANTED.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to move back home, I'd go crazy, but what I'm saying is that relying on your self for everything isn't easy. You'll miss home, I promise.
Right, I was going to bed, wasn't I? I was. Next time I blog, I'll be in Norway!!!
I'm coming home.
Or rather, I'm coming to Kristine's home, but whatevs.
I can't wait now. Kristine and I went to see Oslo Ess in desember of 2012 and it's one of the best experiences I've had. Can't wait to see them again, this time performing from their new album, which is freaking great by the way, and at Rockefeller as well! I've never been there, but I've heard it's a good live concert venue.
I have some great news from today that I want to share! My friend Camilla who has cancer has been told that the cancer markers in her blood has dropped to normal levels! She's going to a meeting with the doctors in Trondheim, but hopefully, she'll be alright!
I also got some good news for myself today. There was this one module last semester that I failed an assignment in and that causes you to fail the module. However, because I got a first in the other assignment in that module, I passed! I aslo went to pick up the weekly wiki hate crime blog thingy that we did for intro to crim 2 and I got 65%! Well happy with todays happenings!
Now I'm going to go to sleep and dream about the stuff I'm going to buy at the tax free shop tomorrow. Extremely excited to go to Norway now! I'll have wifi where ever I go, I won't have to speak english (which I'm probably going to miss because I like speaking English) and I won't be financially dependent anymore. Being in charge of your own economy is exhausting. Kids, trust me, moving out is great, it's fun, it's everything you've ever dreamed of and more. However, it's the "more" part that's annoying. That "more" part contains all the responsibility that you get when you move out, so if you learn anything from this post or this log or from me or whatevs, I'm hoping it'll be this: DO NOT TAKE LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS FOR GRANTED.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to move back home, I'd go crazy, but what I'm saying is that relying on your self for everything isn't easy. You'll miss home, I promise.
Right, I was going to bed, wasn't I? I was. Next time I blog, I'll be in Norway!!!
Wednesday 2 April 2014
So many good things happening all at once!
I am actually in a right state at the moment. There are so many good things happening all at once, it's a bit overwhelming actually! I thought I'd list it all up for you, just to do my best to really explait the opportunity of rubbing my happiness in your faces.
- Camilla told me that the cancer markers in her blood has gone down!
- My last lecture of the year was on monday. No more lectures until september! That's like.. 6-7 months!
- I just finished the last essay due before easter!
- I've had confirmation that I am definitely changing course, starting BA Forensic Studies in September!
- The deposit on the house is payed.
- Plane tickets London - Oslo on friday and Oslo - Ålesund on sunday is sorted.
- Kristine and I have tickets to go see our favourite band, Oslo Ess, live at Rockefeller on friday night.
- I get to spend my weekend in Oslo with my favourite ginger in the whole wide world, with wine and girl talk and gossip and good food. Can't wait!
- Sunday, I finally get to go home and see my mum and brother! Haven't seen my brother since I left for England in January, so I really can't wait to see him again!
- I talked to one of my coworkers and there's a possibility that I'll be able to work during easter brake!
- on the 12th I'm going to Playa del Ingles with mum and lil bro' to relax and read and get tanned.
They say that life is like an arrow, that when you feel like you're being dragged backwards you just need to wait it out, because it's a sign that life's going to shoot you forward and that's really what's happening at the moment. I've been feeling lousy lately, being scared for Camilla, not knowing what's going to happen, not sleeping properly and so on. However, since getting the news that the cancer markers are reducing, and because I've finally finished the work load that was weighing me down, I really feel good. I feel 15 pounds lighter, like I can do anything.
I don't know, maybe I'm just hopped up on spaghetti bolognese or something, but regardless of reason, I feel really great.
Anyway! I've been trying to pack my suitcase the last few days, so all my clothes and makeup and hair products and, basically, the rest of my materialistic life, is spread out on the floor. My room looks like a tornado came in and took a shit before leaving again, which is lovely. Now I've got to clean up and hoover because later I'm meeting Liva at the pub, we're having one last pub dinner before going home, and then we're coming back to mine to have mini pre's before going back to the pub to drink and have a good time.
Hope everyone's feeling just as good as I am today! :)
Monday 31 March 2014
UNICEF Tap Project
How long can you go without your phone? 10 minutes? Prove it and help save a life at the same time!
According to UNICEF, 768 million people lack access to safe, clean drinking water, 2.5 billion people live without proper sanitation and 1,400 children die every day from diseases linked directly to unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation.
Millions of children lack clean water. How long can you go without something far less vital... like your phone?
Together, UNICEF and clothing designer Giorgio Armani are running a website called UNICEF Tap Project. Visit the homepage (Google UNICEF Tap Project) in the browser of your phone and get started. For every 10 minutes you can go without your phone, 1 day of clean water will be donated to children in need.
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I think we can all agree that people today, especially young people, spend far too much time on their phones. How often have you gone to pre drinks or a party or just to the pub or what ever and realised after a while that nobody's saying anything because you're all on your phone, tweeting, instagramming or updating your facebook status about what a great time you're having? We've all been there.
Lets be honest, do you really need your phone as much as you use it? No matter what your answer to that question is, I think it's safe to say that you don't need it as much as dying children need clean water. So try it out, if you can't go for more then 10 minutes, then at least you've helped donate 1 day of clean water to a child in need and, you never know, maybe it'll help you see that you're just a tad more attached to your phone than what's healthy for you?
According to UNICEF, 768 million people lack access to safe, clean drinking water, 2.5 billion people live without proper sanitation and 1,400 children die every day from diseases linked directly to unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation.
Millions of children lack clean water. How long can you go without something far less vital... like your phone?
Together, UNICEF and clothing designer Giorgio Armani are running a website called UNICEF Tap Project. Visit the homepage (Google UNICEF Tap Project) in the browser of your phone and get started. For every 10 minutes you can go without your phone, 1 day of clean water will be donated to children in need.
Lets be honest, do you really need your phone as much as you use it? No matter what your answer to that question is, I think it's safe to say that you don't need it as much as dying children need clean water. So try it out, if you can't go for more then 10 minutes, then at least you've helped donate 1 day of clean water to a child in need and, you never know, maybe it'll help you see that you're just a tad more attached to your phone than what's healthy for you?
Saturday 29 March 2014
home sickness or not home sickness - that's the question!
Do I want to go home? Yes. Do I want to go home? No. I don't know, at the moment. Not that it really matters, I'm going home anyway, but I thought I'd write my thoughts down to figure out what I'm actually dealing with, since that was the original reason why I started the blog.
Going home - pros
Seeing my family. If there's anyone who's been following the blog for a while, you'll know that my mum came to visit in february to give me the heart medication prescribed by my GP back home, so it hasn't really been that long since I saw her, but I really miss my brother! We have a good relationship, by my opinion anyway, and I miss hanging out with him. Not that I don't miss my mum, obviously I do, but you get my point. I am quite sad my dad won't be home, though.
Going to Spain. I'm going to Playa del Ingles, Spain with my mum and brother and I can't wait! I think it'll do me good to have a whole week without anything to worry about exept which book to bring to the beach. I'm going to leave electronics and so on at home and just relax. Do nothing, just recharge my batteries and chill out with two of my favourite people. Don't worry though, I'll probably bring the tab2 to take pictures and post on the blog. Besides, I'm not posting every day anyway, so you're used to it, haha!
Work. I'll get to go to work again, which I actually look forward to! I can't wait to do night shifts and talk to people I haven't seen in three months. I'm looking forward to thepub being packed with people and feeling the stress of the beer taps running empty, trying to keep up with the line of people. I don't know what it is, but I love it.
Friends. I'm going to Oslo before going home. In Oslo I'll be staying with Kristine, the girl who came to visit a while ago. We're going to a concert with our favourite band and it'll be a great weekend. I'm looking forward to good food, some wine and discussing world problems like only we can.
Doctor's appointment. I have an appointment with my GP and I'm looking forward to being able to ask my doctor the questions I have about my heart condition and get the info I feel like I need to maybe get my drivers license back a bit early.
Free food. I'm not saying I'm completely broke, because I'm not, but being a responsible adult who pays for her own food and rent and everything is fucking expensive to put it mildly. I've always hear grown ups saying stuff like "god, not again, the price for cheese has got up 30p..." and I've always thought they've been over reacting, but to all you lucky bastards who still live like kings at home with your parents without a care in the world: growing up isn't as great as you think it is. Sure, you get loads of freedom and independence, but the more freedom you get, the more responsibilities you get, so don't think living away from home is a breeze!
My mum's aunt's necklace. I know this might be a silly reason, but my mum's aunt became a sort of proxy-nan for me and my brother when our last grandparent died almost 11 years ago and she ment the world to me. When she died as well, I inherited a necklace she used to wear and I forgot it at home when I want back to England after christmas and I really miss it. I guess you could say that this is proof that family is really, really important to me, but I don't see that as a bad thing.
Going home - cons
Dad's not home. I haven't seen my dad since I drove him to the boat on the 2nd of January and, being a daddy's girl, I really miss him. I've been trying to email him, but since the new boat he's on doesn't have a very good wifi set up and calling over the satelite phone is really expensive, I haven't talked to him for a while. I feel like I miss him more now that I'm not home, because when I lived with my parents I always saw him until he went away and were always home the day he came back, but it's not like taht anymore and 5 months can easily pass without me seeing my dad and that makes me sad.
All in all, I am looking forward to going home. I've been sat here for half an hour trying to think of more cons to going home, but I can't think of any. I have to say, the fact that I can't drive probably counts for 3, but I'm still looking forward to Norway, speaking Norwegian, eating Norwegian, seeing my family and going on holiday and all the other stuff.
I love when I do stuff like this and it turns out I don't really have that much to complain about. After all, there are a lot of people that have is a lot worse than me. I'm lucky, really.
Thursday 27 March 2014
North Korea cofirms it has landed a man on the sun.
No, I'm not kidding. I mean, obviously, they haven't actually landed a man on the sun, but it seems they are trying to get people to think that they have. Actually, I'm not too sure about that one either.. The sources reporting this doesn't exactly seem to be the most reliable ones.
Anyway, there are a few things about the case.
It's obviously bullshit. The sources are hardly reliable and I have a hard time wrapping my head around the thought that North Korea would think that the rest of the world is that stupid. Gave me a good laugh though!
Sources:
http://www.tweaktown.com/news/35032/north-korea-confirms-it-has-landed-a-man-on-the-sun/index.html
http://smug.no/post.aspx?ID=13851
Anyway, there are a few things about the case.
- The "astronaut" is supposed to be Kim Jong-Un's 17 year old nephew.
- He's supposed to have gone to the sun and back in about 18 hours.
- He went at night to be protected agains the heat.
- He brought back samples from the sun to give to his uncle.
Fun fact: did you know that if you took a sample of the suns mass the size of the head of a pin, it would kill everyone in a 1,000 mile radius?
It's obviously bullshit. The sources are hardly reliable and I have a hard time wrapping my head around the thought that North Korea would think that the rest of the world is that stupid. Gave me a good laugh though!
Sources:
http://www.tweaktown.com/news/35032/north-korea-confirms-it-has-landed-a-man-on-the-sun/index.html
http://smug.no/post.aspx?ID=13851
Wednesday 26 March 2014
First run in months!
I know people who constantly brag about their workouts online are annoying and shouldn't be allowed to have wifi, but I haven't been for a run in months, so I feel like I have an ever so tiny right to brag at the moment. It's 2.30 am and I just got in the door, sweating and panting. I've been out for half an hour and my legs feel like they're made of led, but it's a good feeling. I mean, a 30 minute run at 2am is better than no run, right? I think so. I know 30 minutes isn't that long, but if I can get out and jog about 3 times a week, it should improve slowly but steadily. I also think that if I go all in and try to work out every single day, I'll get tired of it and quit. However, if I take it slowly, it'll become a habit and a lot easier to keep to. Everything in moderation, right!
Hopefully, I'll be able to work out at the gym where my mum works when I get home for easter and I'm thinking about getting a membership at my old gym for summer holiday. They do group workouts that are really good for your whole body and I kind of miss that! I honestly don't think I've ever been so out of shape as I am now, so it's really time to get my ass off the bed and start doing something. The ones who followed my blog at the beginning, will perhaps remember that I did a 30 day challenge. Well, that went south. I kept going until Kristine came to visit and then I forgot about the whole thing. Hopefully, I'll keep going the way I have for the past week with less sugar and soda, more water and a bit of exercise every now and again, and my summer body should be fit and trained for 2054 (not setting too high hopes for myself, haha)!
One reason why I'm looking forward to going home is that food is expensive. And I don't mean annoyingly expensive like diesel is, but fucking EXPENSIVE! I've always heard grown-ups complain about it (I don't count myself as one yet, no), but I would have never thought that food was this expensive until I actually moved out. However, what I'm really, really looking forward to is fish. My dad works at a fishing boat, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, and we get all the fish we need and more, for free and I can't wait to have a proper fish meal!
Maybe it's time to go to sleep now? Me and Liva are going into town tomorrow and then going to the library. Again. It'll be the 6th time in a row, but I think we're getting close to the end of our workload now. I have about 800 words left on the essay that I'm working on and then I have another one at 2000 words that seems like quite an easy one, and then it's easter! I don't know if I've mentioned this on the blog before, but I'm going to Spain with my mum and brother during easter, so I'll hopefully be nice and tan when I get back!
Definitely time to go to sleep now. Hoping I won't be too stiff and sore tomorrow!
Hopefully, I'll be able to work out at the gym where my mum works when I get home for easter and I'm thinking about getting a membership at my old gym for summer holiday. They do group workouts that are really good for your whole body and I kind of miss that! I honestly don't think I've ever been so out of shape as I am now, so it's really time to get my ass off the bed and start doing something. The ones who followed my blog at the beginning, will perhaps remember that I did a 30 day challenge. Well, that went south. I kept going until Kristine came to visit and then I forgot about the whole thing. Hopefully, I'll keep going the way I have for the past week with less sugar and soda, more water and a bit of exercise every now and again, and my summer body should be fit and trained for 2054 (not setting too high hopes for myself, haha)!
One reason why I'm looking forward to going home is that food is expensive. And I don't mean annoyingly expensive like diesel is, but fucking EXPENSIVE! I've always heard grown-ups complain about it (I don't count myself as one yet, no), but I would have never thought that food was this expensive until I actually moved out. However, what I'm really, really looking forward to is fish. My dad works at a fishing boat, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, and we get all the fish we need and more, for free and I can't wait to have a proper fish meal!
Maybe it's time to go to sleep now? Me and Liva are going into town tomorrow and then going to the library. Again. It'll be the 6th time in a row, but I think we're getting close to the end of our workload now. I have about 800 words left on the essay that I'm working on and then I have another one at 2000 words that seems like quite an easy one, and then it's easter! I don't know if I've mentioned this on the blog before, but I'm going to Spain with my mum and brother during easter, so I'll hopefully be nice and tan when I get back!
Definitely time to go to sleep now. Hoping I won't be too stiff and sore tomorrow!
Sunday 23 March 2014
Bo Burnham - From Gods perspective
Books that you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metafores to figure out you shouldn't be a dick
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
You're not going to heaven
Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't obstain from rape just 'cause you think that I want you to.
You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do.
Pretty obvious, just don't fucking rape people
Didn't think I'd have to write that one down for you.
I don't think masturbation is obsene
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
Boy did that go well
You're not going to heaven
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
None of you are going to heaven
You're not my children, you're a bad game of Sims.
You shouldn't obstain from pork just 'cause you think that I want you to.
You can eat pork because why the fuck would I give a shit?
I created the universe, think I'm drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle?
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and catholics, jew and hindus argue day and night
Over what they think they think is true
But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doens't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
My love's the type of the thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it, you don't need it
My love's the type of the thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it, you don't need it
I'm not gonna give you love just 'cause I know that you want me to
If you want love then the love has gotta come from you
Link to the song
I love this song. This is exactly the view I have of religion. Don't get me wrong, if you believe in what ever religion it might be, that's good for you, but religion is not for me.
The problem I have with religion (read: christianity) is
1. some people follow the bible like slaves (pun intended). God did NOT write the bible and over the last 2000 years, the church has altered the bible to make more money off it. How is that acceptable? How can you follow something like that to the letter? There's some good things in the bible, I'll give it that, like the 10 commandments and so on, but it's as Bo says in the song: Who needs a thousand metafores to figure out you shouldn't be a dick?
2. Somewhere in the bible, it says that "you shouldn't lie with a man like you would lie with a woman." A lot of christians has taken this and ran with it. One great example is the Westboro Baptist Church. They run the website called GodHatesFags.com. From a few simple sentences in the bible, this lot has decided to take it upon themselves to protest agains homosexuality as if it were a choice that people made.
3. The day catholic priests start practice what they preach and stop raping young children, I'll concider taking religion a tad more seriously.
Back to the song!
I love how Bo brings up rape culture, LGBT-rights, masturbation taboo, war and the notion that pork are sacred meat, all in a three minute song! I love how he finishes the song by saying that if you want to be loved, you have to love. Nothing is free, you have to give to recieve. This guy is a genious, it's as simple as that.
I know some people has said that he uses homophobia and racism to make humor, but I think that if you have some humor yourself, you'll be able to understand what he's saying without being offended. Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of either homophobia or racism, but I think that even if you are a member of the BAME-community or the LGBT-community or both, you should at least have a tiny bit of humor about it. I'm not saying you should take all kinds of crap concerning your identity, but being able to laugh and make jokes makes life a bit easier.
Anyway, have a listen to the song, it's absolutely golden and definitely worth your time!
Who needs a thousand metafores to figure out you shouldn't be a dick
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
You're not going to heaven
Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't obstain from rape just 'cause you think that I want you to.
You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do.
Pretty obvious, just don't fucking rape people
Didn't think I'd have to write that one down for you.
I don't think masturbation is obsene
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
Boy did that go well
You're not going to heaven
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
None of you are going to heaven
You're not my children, you're a bad game of Sims.
You shouldn't obstain from pork just 'cause you think that I want you to.
You can eat pork because why the fuck would I give a shit?
I created the universe, think I'm drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle?
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and catholics, jew and hindus argue day and night
Over what they think they think is true
But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doens't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
My love's the type of the thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it, you don't need it
My love's the type of the thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it, you don't need it
I'm not gonna give you love just 'cause I know that you want me to
If you want love then the love has gotta come from you
Link to the song
I love this song. This is exactly the view I have of religion. Don't get me wrong, if you believe in what ever religion it might be, that's good for you, but religion is not for me.
The problem I have with religion (read: christianity) is
1. some people follow the bible like slaves (pun intended). God did NOT write the bible and over the last 2000 years, the church has altered the bible to make more money off it. How is that acceptable? How can you follow something like that to the letter? There's some good things in the bible, I'll give it that, like the 10 commandments and so on, but it's as Bo says in the song: Who needs a thousand metafores to figure out you shouldn't be a dick?
2. Somewhere in the bible, it says that "you shouldn't lie with a man like you would lie with a woman." A lot of christians has taken this and ran with it. One great example is the Westboro Baptist Church. They run the website called GodHatesFags.com. From a few simple sentences in the bible, this lot has decided to take it upon themselves to protest agains homosexuality as if it were a choice that people made.
3. The day catholic priests start practice what they preach and stop raping young children, I'll concider taking religion a tad more seriously.
Back to the song!
I love how Bo brings up rape culture, LGBT-rights, masturbation taboo, war and the notion that pork are sacred meat, all in a three minute song! I love how he finishes the song by saying that if you want to be loved, you have to love. Nothing is free, you have to give to recieve. This guy is a genious, it's as simple as that.
I know some people has said that he uses homophobia and racism to make humor, but I think that if you have some humor yourself, you'll be able to understand what he's saying without being offended. Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of either homophobia or racism, but I think that even if you are a member of the BAME-community or the LGBT-community or both, you should at least have a tiny bit of humor about it. I'm not saying you should take all kinds of crap concerning your identity, but being able to laugh and make jokes makes life a bit easier.
Anyway, have a listen to the song, it's absolutely golden and definitely worth your time!
Friday 21 March 2014
Lecture, volunteering, town, monopoly, course change.
Hey!
It's been a long day. Not long as in tiring, but long as in I've had a lot of things to do.
First of all I went to my Introduction to Criminology 2 lecture, which was really good today. We had a guest lecturer that talked about homophobia and how badly the LGBT-community are treated by some people. The guest lecturer were a gay man that works with a programme that gives young people in the LGBT-community the chance to get together in a totally homophobia-free environment, where they can be themselves and get the help and support they need to do whatever they might feel like they need to do, whether it's coming out to friends and family or dealing with homophobic behaviour, whatever it might be. They also help people that has been subjected to hate crimes because of their sexual orientation to report this to the police. The amount of hate crimes that go unreported are ridiculously high, so I think it's brilliant that you can go to this programme to get help and support if you think that reporting such incidents on your own is too difficult.
I think LGBT-rights are an important issue to raise. In the developed world of 2014, are we really that uneducated that we can't see each other for what we are, human beings? If you're straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, asexual, pansexual, whatever, you should be able to live your life in a completely normal manner without having to deal with homophobic pricks who think they're just that much better than everyone else. Because I can pretty much guarantee, that the same mens men, the same jocks, the same idiots that go around spreading homophobic bullshit are the same guys who sit at home in their bed at night, watching lesbian porn while jerking off. Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you.
this is why I've decided to start volunteering for this programme that I can not for the life of me remember the name of. This is something I truly care about and it's something that's really important to do something about, so why shouldn't I? At some point during our bachelor degree, we are urged to do volunteer work any way beacuse it looks really good on the CV, so I think that I've hit the jackspot with this!
That was my rant of the day, haha! After the lecture was over, I went into town with Liva to get some stuff. Now I have enough food to last me the rest of the semester and whatever might be left on the 4th of April will be put in the freezer until I return in May. I might actually have bought enough food to not have to buy any in may, but that's probably just as well.
When I came home and had put all my stuff away, I just hung out in my room for a while. I'm one of those people that really need some quiet alone time and I think making sure that I get that hour to myself to do nothing each day is really important. I feel like if I take some time to myself then I'm not that stressed. This might be logical to everyone else, but I've never realised until now that if I get in that one hour each day of just total relaxation, then I can go on like usual the rest of the day. I can stay a yes person if I get in that one hour, and I like being a yes person, I like making people happy, I like helping out and I like the fact that people seem to think that they can come to me if they need something. If one Hannah-hour each day can let me stay that way without my heart deciding that it's suddenly had enough, then that's what I'll do. I mean, I've always enjoyed being alone and I've always made the time to be alone, but I've always done something while alone. I've worked on whatever people have needed me to do. I've kept my phone on in case anyone needs me. I don't do that anymore. Hannah-hour means nobody else but me and it's made a huge difference. I know it sound really cheesy and really lame, but as long as it works, I don't really give a shit.
By the way, I do apologise for the language on this blog. At first I never thought that I would swear in these posts, but then I realised that it's part of who I am, so why not. I'll have a description put in at the top right corner, saying that the blog is rated for language or something, just to be politically correct, though. At some point. (maybe).
After spending some time alone with my thoughts, Sharleen and I went over to flat 28 to play Monopoly with Rhys, Liam, Hannah S and Nye, who we're living with next year. It was the first ever Sparkford Close 20A get together and it was a lot of fun. I think I'm going to enjoy next year a lot!
I also got an email today, saying that I am more than welcome to transfer into the first year of Forensic Studies in September. All I need now is to get the paperwork signed and I'll officially (almost) be a Forensic student! I actually can't wait to get my hands on the case files and equipment that the Forensic people get to use. They actually study real case files with real crime scene photos of real dead people and if that's not freaking awesome, then I don't know what is! I'm really glad I made the choice of changing courses, I think it'll serve me in the long run, even though I have sort of wasted a year doing Criminology. However, it's not completely wasted, I'll still be able to put it on my CV and I'll have somewhat of a unique education when I'm finished, so that's good at least!
It's now a 3.15am and I have a ton of stuff to get done tomorrow, so I'm going to get to bed! Hope you've all had a good day!
It's been a long day. Not long as in tiring, but long as in I've had a lot of things to do.
First of all I went to my Introduction to Criminology 2 lecture, which was really good today. We had a guest lecturer that talked about homophobia and how badly the LGBT-community are treated by some people. The guest lecturer were a gay man that works with a programme that gives young people in the LGBT-community the chance to get together in a totally homophobia-free environment, where they can be themselves and get the help and support they need to do whatever they might feel like they need to do, whether it's coming out to friends and family or dealing with homophobic behaviour, whatever it might be. They also help people that has been subjected to hate crimes because of their sexual orientation to report this to the police. The amount of hate crimes that go unreported are ridiculously high, so I think it's brilliant that you can go to this programme to get help and support if you think that reporting such incidents on your own is too difficult.
I think LGBT-rights are an important issue to raise. In the developed world of 2014, are we really that uneducated that we can't see each other for what we are, human beings? If you're straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, asexual, pansexual, whatever, you should be able to live your life in a completely normal manner without having to deal with homophobic pricks who think they're just that much better than everyone else. Because I can pretty much guarantee, that the same mens men, the same jocks, the same idiots that go around spreading homophobic bullshit are the same guys who sit at home in their bed at night, watching lesbian porn while jerking off. Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you.
this is why I've decided to start volunteering for this programme that I can not for the life of me remember the name of. This is something I truly care about and it's something that's really important to do something about, so why shouldn't I? At some point during our bachelor degree, we are urged to do volunteer work any way beacuse it looks really good on the CV, so I think that I've hit the jackspot with this!
That was my rant of the day, haha! After the lecture was over, I went into town with Liva to get some stuff. Now I have enough food to last me the rest of the semester and whatever might be left on the 4th of April will be put in the freezer until I return in May. I might actually have bought enough food to not have to buy any in may, but that's probably just as well.
When I came home and had put all my stuff away, I just hung out in my room for a while. I'm one of those people that really need some quiet alone time and I think making sure that I get that hour to myself to do nothing each day is really important. I feel like if I take some time to myself then I'm not that stressed. This might be logical to everyone else, but I've never realised until now that if I get in that one hour each day of just total relaxation, then I can go on like usual the rest of the day. I can stay a yes person if I get in that one hour, and I like being a yes person, I like making people happy, I like helping out and I like the fact that people seem to think that they can come to me if they need something. If one Hannah-hour each day can let me stay that way without my heart deciding that it's suddenly had enough, then that's what I'll do. I mean, I've always enjoyed being alone and I've always made the time to be alone, but I've always done something while alone. I've worked on whatever people have needed me to do. I've kept my phone on in case anyone needs me. I don't do that anymore. Hannah-hour means nobody else but me and it's made a huge difference. I know it sound really cheesy and really lame, but as long as it works, I don't really give a shit.
By the way, I do apologise for the language on this blog. At first I never thought that I would swear in these posts, but then I realised that it's part of who I am, so why not. I'll have a description put in at the top right corner, saying that the blog is rated for language or something, just to be politically correct, though. At some point. (maybe).
After spending some time alone with my thoughts, Sharleen and I went over to flat 28 to play Monopoly with Rhys, Liam, Hannah S and Nye, who we're living with next year. It was the first ever Sparkford Close 20A get together and it was a lot of fun. I think I'm going to enjoy next year a lot!
I also got an email today, saying that I am more than welcome to transfer into the first year of Forensic Studies in September. All I need now is to get the paperwork signed and I'll officially (almost) be a Forensic student! I actually can't wait to get my hands on the case files and equipment that the Forensic people get to use. They actually study real case files with real crime scene photos of real dead people and if that's not freaking awesome, then I don't know what is! I'm really glad I made the choice of changing courses, I think it'll serve me in the long run, even though I have sort of wasted a year doing Criminology. However, it's not completely wasted, I'll still be able to put it on my CV and I'll have somewhat of a unique education when I'm finished, so that's good at least!
It's now a 3.15am and I have a ton of stuff to get done tomorrow, so I'm going to get to bed! Hope you've all had a good day!
Wednesday 19 March 2014
Cyber Italia - again
Heyo!
I'm in Cyber Italia. Again. I've been putting together what was supposed to be a short plan showing what I intend to do in the last assignment for Portrayals of Crime and Deviance. I've now got about 800 words. I did say short, right? Well..
The plan is to compare Dexter to CSI Miami with focus on how they are relative to the time they are set in. I chose those two because they are set in the same city, making them a bit easier to compare, and because they are so completely different. While Dexter is fairly relateable, CSI Miami is a whole mixture of stuff that's not relative to anything. In CSI Miami, DNA sequenses from blood samples take 30 seconds to complete, while in Dexter, the centrifuging stage alone take 12 hours. Also, in Dexter, while not entirely realistic, the crew take a lot more precautions not to contaminate the crime scene they are working, by wearing protective clothing. In CSI, blood, tissue and hair samples are handled by people in fancy dresses and high heels and I cannot begin to descibe how much that annoys me. The whole show is really just a stupefied parody on the truth of forensic work and don't even get me started on Horatio Crane and his damned sun glasses at the end of each episode.. If they find a dead prostitute with her arms and legs cut off, he has no ethic issue what so ever with taking off his bloody sun glasses while saying "I guess that's the last time she charged an arm and a leg for the service". I mean, come on, how about showing some respect for the dead, huh?
Anyway. I feel like I use that word a lot. Anyway. It feels weird to start a new section on a completely different subject without something to tie it together, do you know what I mean?
Anyway. The weather's been really nice lately. I've actually only wore dresses and skirts for the past week, it's amazing! Yesterday and today it hasn't been as great as last week though, but at least it hasn't been raining. I also rediscovered a skirt I thought I'd forgot in Norway, so I've been wearing that today. It's a dark grey maxi skirt and I've been passing time by ripping out all my tops from my dresser, trying to find out how many different variations of outfits I have now that I know where the skirt is! I have another one in black, so maybe I'll leave the tomboy look behind for a while and go for a relaxed maxi skirt and converse look for a while? I'm especially looking forward to wearing it in Spain in april, with just a bikini top and a loose singlet, great outfit for hot days!
Right, that got very girly very fast. I'm not that girly, really, so I've got to recuperate now.
Earlier today I played Monopoly with Haroon, Sharleen, Andrew (Sharleens boyfriend) and Rhys (one of my flatmates next year). It was really fun! I love playing Monopoly, but I have no economic sence what so ever, so I find it hard to know what's a good deal and what's not and that's a bit of a problem when playing Monopoly. the only time I've ever won in that game was when playing alone with Sharleen last week, but according to herself, she's shit at it as well, so that might not have been that much of an accomplishment, haha! Me, rhys and Sharleen are living together next year along with Liam and Hannah, from WD28, where Rhys lives now, and Nye, a guy that Liam knows from the Rugby team. Sharleen got Monopoly for her birthday this year, so I'm seeing some flat feuds over silly games in my future.
Talking about my future, I (think) I've gotten a bit further with changing course for next year. The faculty leader told me to email the programme leader for forensics to ask if there were actually room for me in the class for next year, so I've done that, hopefully he'll respond tomorrow and I can get the paper work sorted and I'll officially (almost) be a forensics student!
The faculty leader also sent me the list of next years modules, so if I do get in, this is what my year looks like from September:
Semester 1:
Introduction to Forensic Studies
Academic and Employment Skills
History of Forensic Studies
Introduction to Criminology 1
Semester 2:
Trace Evicende
Forensic Biology
Police and Police Work
Key Thinkers and Themes in Conceptualising Crime
I've already had Intro to Crim1, Police and Police Work and Key thinkers and Themes in conceptualising Crime as well as a module similar to the Academic and Employment skills module, so I might not have to do those again, which would make my year next year almost too easy. Two modules each week, four assignments each semester at the most, it would be heaven! However, it would make the transition into second year that much harder, so that's going to be a challenge, but I'll get to that when I get there, no need to worry about that yet!
I should probably get back to writing now. I think I'm mostly done with the plan for the PoC&D module, so I'll email that to the module leader and then I'll have to get started on the 2000 word essay due monday for the Police and Police work module. The assignment is to "Debate the notion that in the modern era the police force must be armed to ensure local and national security," and that's something that I actually know a thing or two about, since we've discussed it a bit in previous school years. I also have an advantage, since I have information not only on how things are done in the UK, but I can also compare them to how things are done in Norway and then talk about which method works best, so I think it'll be a good essay!
Hope you all have had a good day! :)
I'm in Cyber Italia. Again. I've been putting together what was supposed to be a short plan showing what I intend to do in the last assignment for Portrayals of Crime and Deviance. I've now got about 800 words. I did say short, right? Well..
The plan is to compare Dexter to CSI Miami with focus on how they are relative to the time they are set in. I chose those two because they are set in the same city, making them a bit easier to compare, and because they are so completely different. While Dexter is fairly relateable, CSI Miami is a whole mixture of stuff that's not relative to anything. In CSI Miami, DNA sequenses from blood samples take 30 seconds to complete, while in Dexter, the centrifuging stage alone take 12 hours. Also, in Dexter, while not entirely realistic, the crew take a lot more precautions not to contaminate the crime scene they are working, by wearing protective clothing. In CSI, blood, tissue and hair samples are handled by people in fancy dresses and high heels and I cannot begin to descibe how much that annoys me. The whole show is really just a stupefied parody on the truth of forensic work and don't even get me started on Horatio Crane and his damned sun glasses at the end of each episode.. If they find a dead prostitute with her arms and legs cut off, he has no ethic issue what so ever with taking off his bloody sun glasses while saying "I guess that's the last time she charged an arm and a leg for the service". I mean, come on, how about showing some respect for the dead, huh?
Anyway. I feel like I use that word a lot. Anyway. It feels weird to start a new section on a completely different subject without something to tie it together, do you know what I mean?
Anyway. The weather's been really nice lately. I've actually only wore dresses and skirts for the past week, it's amazing! Yesterday and today it hasn't been as great as last week though, but at least it hasn't been raining. I also rediscovered a skirt I thought I'd forgot in Norway, so I've been wearing that today. It's a dark grey maxi skirt and I've been passing time by ripping out all my tops from my dresser, trying to find out how many different variations of outfits I have now that I know where the skirt is! I have another one in black, so maybe I'll leave the tomboy look behind for a while and go for a relaxed maxi skirt and converse look for a while? I'm especially looking forward to wearing it in Spain in april, with just a bikini top and a loose singlet, great outfit for hot days!
Right, that got very girly very fast. I'm not that girly, really, so I've got to recuperate now.
Earlier today I played Monopoly with Haroon, Sharleen, Andrew (Sharleens boyfriend) and Rhys (one of my flatmates next year). It was really fun! I love playing Monopoly, but I have no economic sence what so ever, so I find it hard to know what's a good deal and what's not and that's a bit of a problem when playing Monopoly. the only time I've ever won in that game was when playing alone with Sharleen last week, but according to herself, she's shit at it as well, so that might not have been that much of an accomplishment, haha! Me, rhys and Sharleen are living together next year along with Liam and Hannah, from WD28, where Rhys lives now, and Nye, a guy that Liam knows from the Rugby team. Sharleen got Monopoly for her birthday this year, so I'm seeing some flat feuds over silly games in my future.
Talking about my future, I (think) I've gotten a bit further with changing course for next year. The faculty leader told me to email the programme leader for forensics to ask if there were actually room for me in the class for next year, so I've done that, hopefully he'll respond tomorrow and I can get the paper work sorted and I'll officially (almost) be a forensics student!
The faculty leader also sent me the list of next years modules, so if I do get in, this is what my year looks like from September:
Semester 1:
Introduction to Forensic Studies
Academic and Employment Skills
History of Forensic Studies
Introduction to Criminology 1
Semester 2:
Trace Evicende
Forensic Biology
Police and Police Work
Key Thinkers and Themes in Conceptualising Crime
I've already had Intro to Crim1, Police and Police Work and Key thinkers and Themes in conceptualising Crime as well as a module similar to the Academic and Employment skills module, so I might not have to do those again, which would make my year next year almost too easy. Two modules each week, four assignments each semester at the most, it would be heaven! However, it would make the transition into second year that much harder, so that's going to be a challenge, but I'll get to that when I get there, no need to worry about that yet!
I should probably get back to writing now. I think I'm mostly done with the plan for the PoC&D module, so I'll email that to the module leader and then I'll have to get started on the 2000 word essay due monday for the Police and Police work module. The assignment is to "Debate the notion that in the modern era the police force must be armed to ensure local and national security," and that's something that I actually know a thing or two about, since we've discussed it a bit in previous school years. I also have an advantage, since I have information not only on how things are done in the UK, but I can also compare them to how things are done in Norway and then talk about which method works best, so I think it'll be a good essay!
Hope you all have had a good day! :)
Monday 17 March 2014
next summer
Hi!
So, I've been thinking about something. This summer I obviously can't do that much since I can't drive. Sure, I could buy a plane ticket and get where I want to be at a fraction of the time, but there's something about driving for hours and hours, listening to loud music and singing at the top of my voice (if I'm alone that is) that just makes me feel free. I know that sounds like a load of hippie crap, but I don't care, I love it. Therefore, I've planned what I'm going to do next summer. When I finally get my beloved drivers license back, I'm going to work my ass off for a month or two so that I can actually pay for it, and then I'm borrowing my mums car and driving anywhere. I'll make a kick ass playlist with all the best songs and I won't book a single hotel room, I'm just going to drive. Maybe north, maybe south, who knows. Maybe I'll go to sweeden, maybe I won't, I haven't planned anything, and I'm not going to. I'm just going to get in the car and drive, all alone, to anywhere. I actually can't wait.
It will be absolutely glorious. I'll be done with first year BA forensic science, I'll be back in Norway, the sun will (hopefully) be shining and I can picture it already. The luxurious dark green Vauxhall Astra, my blue white and black dress, sun glasses and the playlist from heaven. It'll be amazing! I've actually got myself so worked up about this that I might just steal a car and go right now.
Right, enough about my futuristic lonesome roadtrip. What have I done today? Nothing. I've watched a season of Dexter, half the second Harry Potter film and eat my weight in skittles. Well, not really, I've had half a bag of skittles, but now my tummy hurts from all the skittles, so it feels like I've eat my weight in skittles, ya feel me? Haha. To be honest, I've been singing a lot. Both Haroon and Sharleen are at home in south London or Reading, and since they are the ones in the rooms next to mine, I can sing (almost) as loud as I like and I love that! Right now it's Avril Lavigne - When you're gone. I have this playlist on spotify with loads of crap that I used to listen to when I was younger, and Avril was a total favourite when I was 10-11!
I've been talking a bit with my brother lately. Last semester we didn't really talk much, but this semester has been different. He's the most fantastic little guy and I really miss him when I'm in England. However, I'm hoping that he'll be able to come visit me some time next semester, which would be great! Not sure if I'm more scared of him meeting my friends and realize that I'm the weird one in the gang or them meeting him and realizing that they socialize with the wrong sibling, though. Because he is really cool. He's too smart for anyone's good and he's quite cute. Guess he got the jack pot of the gene pool.
Now, time for bed! Lecture at 9AM tomorrow, police and police work! Should be fun.
Good night!
Friday 14 March 2014
My best friend, cancer and my thoughts.
I don't know if it's my place to be writing this, since I'm not the one who's sick and I hope that everyone understands that I'm not writing this to gain any form of attention from her situation what so ever, I'm simply trying to vent. To let out some of the steam that's building up in my head, and to put my worst fears at the moment into words in the hope that by doing so, it'll be easier to handle. If you read this, Camilla, and there's something I get wrong, then please correct me. If you want me to take it down, I will.
Camilla and I went to school together for a year in 2010/2011. When we started our second year of common studies, she started a chef's line at another school so I obviously didn't see her that much. You'd think that in that situation, you would sort of drift apart and eventually stop speaking to each other. Well, I guess we sort of did for a while. We had contact on a regular basis, but more once a month that every day like we used to. Still, Camilla remained one of my best friends, one of the ones that I really felt like I could tell anything to. That's the communication we've had for the past three years. Some periods we've talked more than others, but no matter how long it was since we talked, we could always message each other if there was something we needed, or just wanted, to talk about, and the other one would be there.
When I decided to move to England, I'll admit that I half expected to lose contact with most, if not all, of my old friends and I am sorry to say that I though Camilla might be one of the ones that I would lose contact with, since we hadn't seen each other that much lately and we were having one of those periods where we didn't talk as much. However, when I moved, I realised that when everyone else was starting to grow tired of me only talking about England and my friends and activities over here, she was always ready to listen. We started skyping. Usually once a week, once every two weeks at the least and I am so grateful for those conversations. Camilla is one of those that when you're talking about issues you're having with people she doesn't even know, she will still listen and then try to contribute with her thoughts and opinions instead of saying things like "oh, that sucks" and "I don't know, really" and I love her so increadibly much for that.
When I was going back for christmas, I knew that she had been to see a gynecologist. She then messaged me while I was in Reading visiting Sharleen, saying that she had got the results back from the gynecologist, and they had informed her that she had cancer. a 9*8cm (roughly 3*3inches) tumor was blocking the left side of her uterus from the back. She was scheduled for surgery in Trondheim about 10 days later, as I recall it. The operation went well, they removed the tumor and a whole lot of other stuff that I can't remember what was at the moment and sent it for testing to see if it was benign or malignant. The test results came back and the tumor was malignant. Cancerous. Dangerous. Scary. Chemo therapy.
On monday this week she had a CT-scan. The gynecologist had found a new mass at 5*6 cm (roughly 2*2 inches) that he/she didn't know what was. It could be blood or other fluid from the operation or it could be another tumor, which would mean that the chemo wasn't working properly. The CT-scan showed that there were cancerous cells, but she was reassured that the chemo should kick it's ass.
On tuesday, she had her third round of chemo therapy and was half way through that hell (yay!). I talked to her for a while as she was getting the chemo therapy and she seemed to be in good spirit, since the chemo should remove the new cancer cells as well as the old ones.
However, today I got a message from her saying that Trondheim had called, saying they wanted her back up there as quickly as possible to do more tests because they were quite alarmed that there were new findings of cancerous cells. I can not begin to describe how scared that made me. Obviously, when talking about cancer, it can go either way, you either beat it or you don't. Now, Camilla is one of the strongest people I know and I know that she can handle just about anything, but even the strongest person in the world has their limit and that's what scares me. What if this is her limit? What are they going to find on the new scans and tests? Is my best friend going to be here next year? I don't know and not knowing scares the shit out of me.
I know that if I had chosen to go to uni in Norway, I wouldn't feel any better than I do now. I still wouldn't have been able to do anything for her, but at least I could be there, physically, once in a while, to hold her hand and talk and let her know that I was really there. Because I don't feel like I am. I mean, we talk almost every day and I try to talk to her about it, ask her how she's doing and what she's thinking to let her know that she can talk to me if she wants to and if she needs to. Also, she has said on her own blog that she want's people to call it what it is. Cancer. She want's people not to beat around the bush about it, because that won't make it any better. She has cancer and that's just how it is. So I try to do that when we talk about it. I try to take everything she has told me about it into concideration every time we talk about it to let her know that I care. That I remember what she told me last week and that I listen. I don't just hear, I listen. Because I think I would appretiate that if I was in her situation, but then again I don't know because I've never had cancer. But as I said, I'm trying as best as I can to show her that I'm here for her in every way and still I feel like I'm not.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm dead scared that she won't make it. I know I should be thinking positively and I shouldn't make up this scenario in my head where I need to buy plane tickets in all haste to go home and say goodbye to one of my bestest best friends in the whole wide world, but when someone who means that much to you has to face something as fucking awful as cancer at 19, you can't help it! I know I probably over react, that she probably will be fine. Still, I can't keep my head from spinning and I can't keep from crying when I think about it.
What makes this all so hard, for me that is, is that I'm so bloody far away. Every time she's told me that she has bad news, this tiny little voice has crept up in the back of my head saying "why the fuck did you move so far away?" and that voice keeps getting stronger. Don't get me wrong, I love that I took the step of moving to England all by my self and I would probably do it again, given the option, but as the situation is, I regret it just a tiny bit. I feel like there's nothing I can do. I know there's nothing I could have done anyway, but being so far away from it all certainly doesn't help.
There is no limit to what I would give for her to be healthy as a horse right this instant. I would sell my sole to the devil and all his demons for her to get well. I love this girl so unbelievably much because we have this friendship where no matter how long it's been since we last talked, we both know that nothing is wrong and that we can pick up where we left off without any awkwardness what so ever and I've never had that before.
Camilla and I went to school together for a year in 2010/2011. When we started our second year of common studies, she started a chef's line at another school so I obviously didn't see her that much. You'd think that in that situation, you would sort of drift apart and eventually stop speaking to each other. Well, I guess we sort of did for a while. We had contact on a regular basis, but more once a month that every day like we used to. Still, Camilla remained one of my best friends, one of the ones that I really felt like I could tell anything to. That's the communication we've had for the past three years. Some periods we've talked more than others, but no matter how long it was since we talked, we could always message each other if there was something we needed, or just wanted, to talk about, and the other one would be there.
When I decided to move to England, I'll admit that I half expected to lose contact with most, if not all, of my old friends and I am sorry to say that I though Camilla might be one of the ones that I would lose contact with, since we hadn't seen each other that much lately and we were having one of those periods where we didn't talk as much. However, when I moved, I realised that when everyone else was starting to grow tired of me only talking about England and my friends and activities over here, she was always ready to listen. We started skyping. Usually once a week, once every two weeks at the least and I am so grateful for those conversations. Camilla is one of those that when you're talking about issues you're having with people she doesn't even know, she will still listen and then try to contribute with her thoughts and opinions instead of saying things like "oh, that sucks" and "I don't know, really" and I love her so increadibly much for that.
When I was going back for christmas, I knew that she had been to see a gynecologist. She then messaged me while I was in Reading visiting Sharleen, saying that she had got the results back from the gynecologist, and they had informed her that she had cancer. a 9*8cm (roughly 3*3inches) tumor was blocking the left side of her uterus from the back. She was scheduled for surgery in Trondheim about 10 days later, as I recall it. The operation went well, they removed the tumor and a whole lot of other stuff that I can't remember what was at the moment and sent it for testing to see if it was benign or malignant. The test results came back and the tumor was malignant. Cancerous. Dangerous. Scary. Chemo therapy.
On monday this week she had a CT-scan. The gynecologist had found a new mass at 5*6 cm (roughly 2*2 inches) that he/she didn't know what was. It could be blood or other fluid from the operation or it could be another tumor, which would mean that the chemo wasn't working properly. The CT-scan showed that there were cancerous cells, but she was reassured that the chemo should kick it's ass.
On tuesday, she had her third round of chemo therapy and was half way through that hell (yay!). I talked to her for a while as she was getting the chemo therapy and she seemed to be in good spirit, since the chemo should remove the new cancer cells as well as the old ones.
However, today I got a message from her saying that Trondheim had called, saying they wanted her back up there as quickly as possible to do more tests because they were quite alarmed that there were new findings of cancerous cells. I can not begin to describe how scared that made me. Obviously, when talking about cancer, it can go either way, you either beat it or you don't. Now, Camilla is one of the strongest people I know and I know that she can handle just about anything, but even the strongest person in the world has their limit and that's what scares me. What if this is her limit? What are they going to find on the new scans and tests? Is my best friend going to be here next year? I don't know and not knowing scares the shit out of me.
I know that if I had chosen to go to uni in Norway, I wouldn't feel any better than I do now. I still wouldn't have been able to do anything for her, but at least I could be there, physically, once in a while, to hold her hand and talk and let her know that I was really there. Because I don't feel like I am. I mean, we talk almost every day and I try to talk to her about it, ask her how she's doing and what she's thinking to let her know that she can talk to me if she wants to and if she needs to. Also, she has said on her own blog that she want's people to call it what it is. Cancer. She want's people not to beat around the bush about it, because that won't make it any better. She has cancer and that's just how it is. So I try to do that when we talk about it. I try to take everything she has told me about it into concideration every time we talk about it to let her know that I care. That I remember what she told me last week and that I listen. I don't just hear, I listen. Because I think I would appretiate that if I was in her situation, but then again I don't know because I've never had cancer. But as I said, I'm trying as best as I can to show her that I'm here for her in every way and still I feel like I'm not.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm dead scared that she won't make it. I know I should be thinking positively and I shouldn't make up this scenario in my head where I need to buy plane tickets in all haste to go home and say goodbye to one of my bestest best friends in the whole wide world, but when someone who means that much to you has to face something as fucking awful as cancer at 19, you can't help it! I know I probably over react, that she probably will be fine. Still, I can't keep my head from spinning and I can't keep from crying when I think about it.
What makes this all so hard, for me that is, is that I'm so bloody far away. Every time she's told me that she has bad news, this tiny little voice has crept up in the back of my head saying "why the fuck did you move so far away?" and that voice keeps getting stronger. Don't get me wrong, I love that I took the step of moving to England all by my self and I would probably do it again, given the option, but as the situation is, I regret it just a tiny bit. I feel like there's nothing I can do. I know there's nothing I could have done anyway, but being so far away from it all certainly doesn't help.
There is no limit to what I would give for her to be healthy as a horse right this instant. I would sell my sole to the devil and all his demons for her to get well. I love this girl so unbelievably much because we have this friendship where no matter how long it's been since we last talked, we both know that nothing is wrong and that we can pick up where we left off without any awkwardness what so ever and I've never had that before.
I love you to the moon and back, babe. When I come home, we'll put sticker stars on our faces again and we'll have a laugh and take selfies like we used to.
If there is a God, then can you please do something? If you exist and you did put us all here, can you please let Camilla stay until we're old and grey and have 15 grandkids each and we're sitting in a nursing home comparing battle wounds? Can you please let this magnificent ray of sun shine stay on this earth to live a full life? Can you please make sure that she will be able to have children when this nightmare is over? Can you please just make my best friend well? I need her, don't take her away from me.
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