I'm back!

I haven't forgot you. I know it seems like I have, but I haven't. I'm back bitches, and this is what I've been doing for the past 10 days!

SPAIN!

Playa del Ingles was absolutely amazing. The temperature was just perfect, it wasn't cold, but it wasn't so hot that we were half dying on the beach, secretly wanting to go back home. We had some days of less good weather, the day we arrived it was actually raining! However, I'm sort of glad it did because it gave us the chanse to walk around townand get to know the place a little before spending the rest of the week lying spread eagled on the beach. We also had a day where we could hardly see the sun for all the clouds, so that day I decided that sun cream was unnecessary. Do I need to mention that I was so sun burned that I didn't sleep much the following night? Probably not.

Yep. Sun burned, alright! Apart from the places where my sun glasses covered the skin, of course, making me look like a reversed panda.. Anyway! See the necklace I'm wearing? IT'S A DRAGON! I got it at a jewelry store in Playa del Ingles and his name is Norbert. He's a Norwegian Ridgeback and if that makes you think that I'm the biggest Harry Potter geek you've ever met, then that sounds about right.

We didn't actually do much, we didn't go on any excursions or anything, we just relaxed and recharged batteries, but that's really all I wanted to do, just get away from everything and not really need to think about anything at all. We ate a lot of good food, got tanned and read a lot. It really was all I wanted it to be. Happy with the way the trip turned out!

Outside the hotel, the day we left.

Since I came back, reality has given me a shock or two. I'm having some issues getting enough modules for next year, because I've already done three of them. However, if I don't do 8 modules next year, I won't get funding from Norway to study the year after and since I don't exactly have £10,500 to pay for tuition myself, that could be a problem. Worst case scenario, I'll have to take a gap year between next year and the year after to make enough money to pay for everything, and I am definitely not prepared to do that!

I've also kind of been let off from work. I haven't been fired, I haven't quit, but they simply don't have room for me anymore. I do understand it though, sales has quadrupled since september when we changed the consept of the restaurant and since I'm not home that much, my skills are a bit rusty. They have a team of people that work well together and that makes things run smoothly and I completely understand that that makes my boss reluctant to change things, since they are already running so smoothly. In other words, I'll get called in in an emergency when nobody else can work, but I can't rely on that for money until September, so I've started looking for something else to do. The plan is to apply at the store across the street, which is a food store like Sainsbury's and M&S, my boss where I've used to work knows  the guy who runs that store, so he'll give me a good reccomendation and I'll hopefully be able to work there! I'm also applying to a gas station in the next "town". They make fast food and stuff and I have a lot of experience in that area, so hopefully I'll get that as well and I can work my ass off all summer! I really do need the money because I think the money I get from Norway to cover tuition and rent and everything this autumn might be a little short, since the rent is more expensive and with bills and everything, I really need a buffer to fall back on in case it isn't enough. Grown up points? I think so.

Today, I'm taking on the role of telephone lady. I have a lot of stuff to work out and hopefully I'll get through them all today. The good thing is that since my brother is at school an my mum is at work, I have the house all to myself! Oh, and my dad comes home on the 30th! I haven't seen him since I drove him to the ship on the 2nd of January so I'm really looking forward to him coming home! I'll probably cling to him like a dog to its owner for a while, but I'm a daddy's girl, and I think he appretiates the fact that I like spending time with him when I have the chance, so that's alright.

Right, I think that's enough rambling from me in one go, don't you? Yeah, thought so.

So many good things happening all at once!

I am actually in a right state at the moment. There are so many good things happening all at once, it's a bit overwhelming actually! I thought I'd list it all up for you, just to do my best to really explait the opportunity of rubbing my happiness in your faces.

• Camilla told me that the cancer markers in her blood has gone down!
• My last lecture of the year was on monday. No more lectures until september! That's like.. 6-7 months!
• I just finished the last essay due before easter!
• I've had confirmation that I am definitely changing course, starting BA Forensic Studies in September!
• The deposit on the house is payed.
• Plane tickets London - Oslo on friday and Oslo - Ålesund on sunday is sorted.
• Kristine and I have tickets to go see our favourite band, Oslo Ess, live at Rockefeller on friday night.
• I get to spend my weekend in Oslo with my favourite ginger in the whole wide world, with wine and girl talk and gossip and good food. Can't wait!
• Sunday, I finally get to go home and see my mum and brother! Haven't seen my brother since I left for England in January, so I really can't wait to see him again!
• I talked to one of my coworkers and there's a possibility that I'll be able to work during easter brake!
• on the 12th I'm going to Playa del Ingles with mum and lil bro' to relax and read and get tanned.

They say that life is like an arrow, that when you feel like you're being dragged backwards you just need to wait it out, because it's a sign that life's going to shoot you forward and that's really what's happening at the moment. I've been feeling lousy lately, being scared for Camilla, not knowing what's going to happen, not sleeping properly and so on. However, since getting the news that the cancer markers are reducing, and because I've finally finished the work load that was weighing me down, I really feel good. I feel 15 pounds lighter, like I can do anything. 

I don't know, maybe I'm just hopped up on spaghetti bolognese or something, but regardless of reason, I feel really great. 

Anyway! I've been trying to pack my suitcase the last few days, so all my clothes and makeup and hair products and, basically, the rest of my materialistic life, is spread out on the floor. My room looks like a tornado came in and took a shit before leaving again, which is lovely. Now I've got to clean up and hoover because later I'm meeting Liva at the pub, we're having one last pub dinner before going home, and then we're coming back to mine to have mini pre's before going back to the pub to drink and have a good time. 

Hope everyone's feeling just as good as I am today! :)

home sickness or not home sickness - that's the question!

Do I want to go home? Yes. Do I want to go home? No. I don't know, at the moment. Not that it really matters, I'm going home anyway, but I thought I'd write my thoughts down to figure out what I'm actually dealing with, since that was the original reason why I started the blog.

Going home - pros 

Seeing my family. If there's anyone who's been following the blog for a while, you'll know that my mum came to visit in february to give me the heart medication prescribed by my GP back home, so it hasn't really been that long since I saw her, but I really miss my brother! We have a good relationship, by my opinion anyway, and I miss hanging out with him. Not that I don't miss my mum, obviously I do, but you get my point. I am quite sad my dad won't be home, though.

Going to Spain. I'm going to Playa del Ingles, Spain with my mum and brother and I can't wait! I think it'll do me good to have a whole week without anything to worry about exept which book to bring to the beach. I'm going to leave electronics and so on at home and just relax. Do nothing, just recharge my batteries and chill out with two of my favourite people. Don't worry though, I'll probably bring the tab2 to take pictures and post on the blog. Besides, I'm not posting every day anyway, so you're used to it, haha! 

Work. I'll get to go to work again, which I actually look forward to! I can't wait to do night shifts and talk to people I haven't seen in three months. I'm looking forward to thepub being packed with people and feeling the stress of the beer taps running empty, trying to keep up with the line of people. I don't know what it is, but I love it.

Friends. I'm going to Oslo before going home. In Oslo I'll be staying with Kristine, the girl who came to visit a while ago. We're going to a concert with our favourite band and it'll be a great weekend. I'm looking forward to good food, some wine and discussing world problems like only we can. 

 

Doctor's appointment. I have an appointment with my GP and I'm looking forward to being able to ask my doctor the questions I have about my heart condition and get the info I feel like I need to maybe get my drivers license back a bit early.

Free food. I'm not saying I'm completely broke, because I'm not, but being a responsible adult who pays for her own food and rent and everything is fucking expensive to put it mildly. I've always hear grown ups saying stuff like "god, not again, the price for cheese has got up 30p..." and I've always thought they've been over reacting, but to all you lucky bastards who still live like kings at home with your parents without a care in the world: growing up isn't as great as you think it is. Sure, you get loads of freedom and independence, but the more freedom you get, the more responsibilities you get, so don't think living away from home is a breeze!

My mum's aunt's necklace. I know this might be a silly reason, but my mum's aunt became a sort of proxy-nan for me and my brother when our last grandparent died almost 11 years ago and she ment the world to me. When she died as well, I inherited a necklace she used to wear and I forgot it at home when I want back to England after christmas and I really miss it. I guess you could say that this is proof that family is really, really important to me, but I don't see that as a bad thing. 

Going home - cons

I can't drive. I won't elaborate too much on this point, since I know I keep nagging about this. However, I doubt anyone understands just how much driving means to me. I'm dreading the feeling of being stuck in that tiny little place, not even being able to get to work on my own.

Dad's not home. I haven't seen my dad since I drove him to the boat on the 2nd of January and, being a daddy's girl, I really miss him. I've been trying to email him, but since the new boat he's on doesn't have a very good wifi set up and calling over the satelite phone is really expensive, I haven't talked to him for a while. I feel like I miss him more now that I'm not home, because when I lived with my parents I always saw him until he went away and were always home the day he came back, but it's not like taht anymore and 5 months can easily pass without me seeing my dad and that makes me sad. 

All in all, I am looking forward to going home. I've been sat here for half an hour trying to think of more cons to going home, but I can't think of any. I have to say, the fact that I can't drive probably counts for 3, but I'm still looking forward to Norway, speaking Norwegian, eating Norwegian, seeing my family and going on holiday and all the other stuff. 

I love when I do stuff like this and it turns out I don't really have that much to complain about. After all, there are a lot of people that have is a lot worse than me. I'm lucky, really. 

next summer

Hi! 

So, I've been thinking about something. This summer I obviously can't do that much since I can't drive. Sure, I could buy a plane ticket and get where I want to be at a fraction of the time, but there's something about driving for hours and hours, listening to loud music and singing at the top of my voice (if I'm alone that is) that just makes me feel free. I know that sounds like a load of hippie crap, but I don't care, I love it. Therefore, I've planned what I'm going to do next summer. When I finally get my beloved drivers license back, I'm going to work my ass off for a month or two so that I can actually pay for it, and then I'm borrowing my mums car and driving anywhere. I'll make a kick ass playlist with all the best songs and I won't book a single hotel room, I'm just going to drive. Maybe north, maybe south, who knows. Maybe I'll go to sweeden, maybe I won't, I haven't planned anything, and I'm not going to. I'm just going to get in the car and drive, all alone, to anywhere. I actually can't wait. 

It will be absolutely glorious. I'll be done with first year BA forensic science, I'll be back in Norway, the sun will (hopefully) be shining and I can picture it already. The luxurious dark green Vauxhall Astra, my blue white and black dress, sun glasses and the playlist from heaven. It'll be amazing! I've actually got myself so worked up about this that I might just steal a car and go right now. 

Right, enough about my futuristic lonesome roadtrip. What have I done today? Nothing. I've watched a season of Dexter, half the second Harry Potter film and eat my weight in skittles. Well, not really, I've had half a bag of skittles, but now my tummy hurts from all the skittles, so it feels like I've eat my weight in skittles, ya feel me? Haha. To be honest, I've been singing a lot. Both Haroon and Sharleen are at home in south London or Reading, and since they are the ones in the rooms next to mine, I can sing (almost) as loud as I like and I love that! Right now it's Avril Lavigne - When you're gone. I have this playlist on spotify with loads of crap that I used to listen to when I was younger, and Avril was a total favourite when I was 10-11! 

I've been talking a bit with my brother lately. Last semester we didn't really talk much, but this semester has been different. He's the most fantastic little guy and I really miss him when I'm in England. However, I'm hoping that he'll be able to come visit me some time next semester, which would be great! Not sure if I'm more scared of him meeting my friends and realize that I'm the weird one in the gang or them meeting him and realizing that they socialize with the wrong sibling, though. Because he is really cool. He's too smart for anyone's good and he's quite cute. Guess he got the jack pot of the gene pool.

Now, time for bed! Lecture at 9AM tomorrow, police and police work! Should be fun. 

Good night!