home sickness or not home sickness - that's the question!

Do I want to go home? Yes. Do I want to go home? No. I don't know, at the moment. Not that it really matters, I'm going home anyway, but I thought I'd write my thoughts down to figure out what I'm actually dealing with, since that was the original reason why I started the blog.

Going home - pros 

Seeing my family. If there's anyone who's been following the blog for a while, you'll know that my mum came to visit in february to give me the heart medication prescribed by my GP back home, so it hasn't really been that long since I saw her, but I really miss my brother! We have a good relationship, by my opinion anyway, and I miss hanging out with him. Not that I don't miss my mum, obviously I do, but you get my point. I am quite sad my dad won't be home, though.

Going to Spain. I'm going to Playa del Ingles, Spain with my mum and brother and I can't wait! I think it'll do me good to have a whole week without anything to worry about exept which book to bring to the beach. I'm going to leave electronics and so on at home and just relax. Do nothing, just recharge my batteries and chill out with two of my favourite people. Don't worry though, I'll probably bring the tab2 to take pictures and post on the blog. Besides, I'm not posting every day anyway, so you're used to it, haha! 

Work. I'll get to go to work again, which I actually look forward to! I can't wait to do night shifts and talk to people I haven't seen in three months. I'm looking forward to thepub being packed with people and feeling the stress of the beer taps running empty, trying to keep up with the line of people. I don't know what it is, but I love it.

Friends. I'm going to Oslo before going home. In Oslo I'll be staying with Kristine, the girl who came to visit a while ago. We're going to a concert with our favourite band and it'll be a great weekend. I'm looking forward to good food, some wine and discussing world problems like only we can. 

 

Doctor's appointment. I have an appointment with my GP and I'm looking forward to being able to ask my doctor the questions I have about my heart condition and get the info I feel like I need to maybe get my drivers license back a bit early.

Free food. I'm not saying I'm completely broke, because I'm not, but being a responsible adult who pays for her own food and rent and everything is fucking expensive to put it mildly. I've always hear grown ups saying stuff like "god, not again, the price for cheese has got up 30p..." and I've always thought they've been over reacting, but to all you lucky bastards who still live like kings at home with your parents without a care in the world: growing up isn't as great as you think it is. Sure, you get loads of freedom and independence, but the more freedom you get, the more responsibilities you get, so don't think living away from home is a breeze!

My mum's aunt's necklace. I know this might be a silly reason, but my mum's aunt became a sort of proxy-nan for me and my brother when our last grandparent died almost 11 years ago and she ment the world to me. When she died as well, I inherited a necklace she used to wear and I forgot it at home when I want back to England after christmas and I really miss it. I guess you could say that this is proof that family is really, really important to me, but I don't see that as a bad thing. 

Going home - cons

I can't drive. I won't elaborate too much on this point, since I know I keep nagging about this. However, I doubt anyone understands just how much driving means to me. I'm dreading the feeling of being stuck in that tiny little place, not even being able to get to work on my own.

Dad's not home. I haven't seen my dad since I drove him to the boat on the 2nd of January and, being a daddy's girl, I really miss him. I've been trying to email him, but since the new boat he's on doesn't have a very good wifi set up and calling over the satelite phone is really expensive, I haven't talked to him for a while. I feel like I miss him more now that I'm not home, because when I lived with my parents I always saw him until he went away and were always home the day he came back, but it's not like taht anymore and 5 months can easily pass without me seeing my dad and that makes me sad. 

All in all, I am looking forward to going home. I've been sat here for half an hour trying to think of more cons to going home, but I can't think of any. I have to say, the fact that I can't drive probably counts for 3, but I'm still looking forward to Norway, speaking Norwegian, eating Norwegian, seeing my family and going on holiday and all the other stuff. 

I love when I do stuff like this and it turns out I don't really have that much to complain about. After all, there are a lot of people that have is a lot worse than me. I'm lucky, really. 

Celebrating Hollies birthday!

I've spent most of today outdoors, which was really nice for a change. It's Hollie's 21st birthday today and me, Line, Liva and Amanda wanted to do something fun with her to celebrate. We took food, sweets, cake and soda and had an outdoors picnic!

Before leaving the flat where Line and Hollie lives, we decided that we should do a flower girl theme, so we all borrowed flowery head band thingy's from Hollie and I can safely say it's the first time I've ever walked around in public with anything that even remotely resembles purple flowers on my head. It was really fun though, and here are the pictures that I know you are all just dying to see! 

When we were leaving Queens Road.

Picnic! 

Line and me.

FLOWERPOWER!

Amanda and me! Ignore my face, don't know what I was trying to pull off...

Went to a cosy little pub to have a drink or two after the picnic, which is when this picture and a lot more like it, started being taken. 

My birthday present to Hollie was a home made card with this text in it:

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

You look like a monkey

and you smell like one too! 

I normally wouldn't write stuff like that in a birthday card, but Hollie has a great sense of humour, so I couldn't contain myself. I also gave her some piercings that I'm never going to use and that I thought would come in handy for her. They were obviously never worn and I cleaned them before putting them in zip lock bags, just felt like that should maybe be mentioned. 

Anyway. After I came home, I haven't really been up to much. I hand-knitted an infinity scarf, which was fun, and it actually turned out quite nice as well! I would post a picture, but I've gone to bed and it's way too cold to remove the covers now, so that will have to wait until tomorrow. Sorry, I know you're all dying to see what I get up to.. (by the way, I'm often quite sarcastic. Ignore comments like that). It's black, grey and dark blue and took about 45 minutes to make. I won't lie, as I was sitting there, watching the second series of House of Cards and knitting, I couldn't help but wonder if my nan would be proud if she could see me. She would knit 50 pairs of socks each year and were really good at it! I think a lot about family lately. Don't know why, but I do.

I feel like I've been calling home a lot lately as well. I do know the reason for that, though. I'm used to not seeing him that often, but I haven't seen my dad since the 2nd of January. Before that, he was home since just before chrismas, and before that I obviously hadn't seen him since I moved to England. Anyway. I think the reason why I'm calling home so often is that I know I won't see him for a long time still. When I get home for spring break in april, he's at sea. He comes home just after I go back here. I won't see him until late may/start of June. That's 6 months straight without my dad and I can easily say that's the longest I've ever gone without seeing him. It doesn't feel right at all. As I said, I'm used to not seeing him that much during a year, but 6 months straight without seeing my dad when we have as good a relationship as we do, is nothing but hard. Of course, it'll make seeing him in June that much better, and knowing myself, I'm probably going to be trailing him like a dog the first week, just because I miss him. But let's be honest, when a girl hasn't seen the superhero in her life for 6 months, is she not allowed to? I think she is. 

Just so it's been said, I'm not saying that I have it hard, not seeing my dad for 6 months. There's a lot of people who haven't even met one or even both of their parents, who have lost a parent or have a parent in the same situation as me. I'm nothing special, I'm lucky just to have two loving parents who's still together, who work well together, who takes good care of me and gives me whatever I need and want. However, it's still hard not seeing him for ages. The point I'm trying to make is that, no matter how great your life is, no matter how lucky and privileged you are, there's going to be things in your life that's hard, and it's okay to have hard times and you're allowed to miss your dad when you haven't seen him for 6 months, even though you are one of the luckiest children in the world.

Right, got that off my chest! I'm going to sleep now. I have a meeting with Student Services tomorrow and then I have a group meeting thing and then we have a lecture 12-1 and seminar groups 2-3. I think. Busy schedule, but I'm hoping I'll have the time to get some piano playing done in the middle of it all. Haven't played properly for ages and I really miss it! 

I'm probably going to have some trouble sleeping though, seeing as I just went up to 8G on my left earlobe and I have a healing conch piercing in the right ear. Might be a fun night!

Update: Woke up and realised that it wasn't the fact that I went up to 8G that made my ear hurt. It was the fact that I went too fast and managed to rip my earlobe.. Kids, don't rush when stretching!